Posts belonging to Category Time Management – You

Chinese New Year and Your Goals – Can You Start Again? Is It a Myth?

Chinese New Year – yes, another beginning.  Like the Ukranian New Year, the Chinese New Year starts on another date than the usual January 1st date celebrated worldwide.   

Can You Start Again Fulfilling Your Goals?


YES!  Of course – you can restart any time.  In fact, you can change your goals and start new ones.

What is the first myth associated with goal setting?

Goal setting has often been seen as set and go – you set them on January 1st and, if by February 1st, you haven’t done anything towards achieving those goals, you give up.  That’s where the myths begin! 

Actually, goals are much more dynamic than set and go.  Goals are forever changing as your experiences change and, no matter what you may think, everyone changes continuously whether it seems so or not.

Nothing in life stands still – nothing.  Even a new wrinkle is a change.  You may not count the wrinkles on other people’s faces and say, “Hey, you have a new wrinkle today”.  No one is that observant! Nonetheless, the change has happened.  How do you think dust accumulates on your table?  One fell-swoop or a little every day?  The level of dust changes all day long every day until you wipe it off and it starts again.

The myth that goals are static and it’s now or never prevents many people from starting at all at any time.  I hope you took the time to work on the goal setting exercise you received free with your sign up to this blog.  Often, the overwhelm hits people and their minds propel them to the here and now rather than the future.

The Adventure

Achieving goals should be fun, interesting and an adventure.  When you get to your destination, it may be quite different than you originally anticipated. 

For instance, when traveling to a different country, sometimes there are floods, road detours, plane delays, alterations in travel plans, meet ups with old friends, and a host of events which may alter the course of your vacation.  Was it a bad vacation or a bad idea to go to that destination?  Of course not as long as you enjoyed the journey and appreciate the outcome.  Let’s say it was a flood.  What a story – how did you cope? How did you get back home?  Did you learn something about yourself?

The Myth of Achievement

The myth has existed forever – I didn’t achieve what I set out to achieve so I’m a failure.  Actually, you may be a greater success than you think but as long as you’re focused on defining your life as  “not attaining set goals”, then, yes, you will think you failed. 

The other myth is that you must set goals in every part of your life.  You don’t.  Sometimes there is only time to set one goal and go after it. 

Goals are not your life!  Goals are dreams set in action form. 

I have one goal this year.  Does that mean I’ve let go of every other goal I’ve achieved.  Of course not – each one is a  part of my life’s fabric now. 

I had a goal of health at one time because of the costs on my health caused by acute stress.  Did I give that up?  No.  Every day, being healthy is a part of my life.  I exercise, eat well, learn about new developments in exercise and supplements and a host of other topics.  Again, if you do the exercise in the free goal setting offering on this blog, you’ll know why.

Go ahead – reset the goals if that ‘s what you want to do and start now.  Take one step – just one this week.  Another step next week or take a whole bunch of steps today – achieving your goals depend a lot on how you operate best.  Some people like the tortoise way and some like to do things the hare’s way – whatever way, keep moving on.

Lorraine Arams


How Does Self-Esteem Impact Time Management?

Did you ever wonder how self-esteem impacts your ability to manage your time?

The impact on your time can be quite enormous.

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is how you regard yourself – your opinion of yourself – how you think of yourself.  Self-esteem comes in varying degrees.

For instance, if you have trouble looking in the mirror at yourself because all you see are flaws, your self-esteem is rather low.  If you go into a tirade about how stupid you are every time you make a mistake, that’s low self-esteem. The mind is occupied with negativity about the self.   

The result of such a poor opinion of oneself carries with it an important deep feeling: undeserving.   Undeserving translates into not making decisions about what YOU want and going after it.  Often, you go after things that other people want or simply block yourself from moving forward.  Lots of time and energy is wasted on the negative or in the wrong direction:

  • “My nose is way too big”
  • “I hate being me”
  • “Why can’t I be more like my friend”
  • “Why am I so stupid?”
  • “If I become a doctor, my mom and dad will be proud of me.  I’d rather be a carpenter but they would be so disappointed with that choice.”

These and many other excuses cover up the real issue:  you don’t deserve what you want

What is time management?

Time management is, in essence, managing your life to get what you want.  What is your life?  Time.  If you run out of time, you’re dead.

How do self-esteem and time management connect?

If you think you deserve what you want, you use your time to find ways and means to get it or a reasonable facsimile.  Just that thought alone will set you on a positive path.  After all, the feeling of “deserving” comes from thinking well of yourself.  Yes, it is a tight-knit circle!

If you think you don’t deserve to get what you want, you fill your mind and your time focusing on your shortcomings either real or imaginary.  Either way, it’s a destructive way to live your life.

Thinking poorly about yourself impacts how you walk, talk, think, behave, look and dress and . . . . the things you do.  People with low self-esteem often look meek or frightened, defer eye contact at all costs, rarely talk to strangers spontaneously.  The colors they wear are drab – in other words, they do everything in their power to assure that no one  pays attention to them.  It doesn’t depend either whether they are beautiful on the inside or the outside – the message they generate to the outside world is “I don’t feel very good about me.”  The outside world responds:  “If you don’t feel good about yourself, why should I?”  So they are often ignored or put upon or “unseen”.

Their appearance suggests to others they don’t want more so even people who think highly of them avoid promoting them for any reason – for job advancement, for romance, for friendships, etc

The irony here is that people with low self-esteem may actually be very talented or beautiful physically or both or may get top marks in school or work very hard in their jobs.  They have incredible attributes which is covered up because of the way they think of themselves.

If you have a good opinion of yourself, everything about you is different – you walk with confidence, you talk to whomever you need to in order to find the pieces you need to get what you want, your dress is sharp and focused, your eye contact tells others you are on a mission and interested in them and what they have to say.  You get noticed and many people will help you – not everyone – but many. 

When we don’t go after what we want because we don’t think we deserve it, we’re wasting our lives, our valuable gifts and deny the world the value these gifts provide to society as a whole and rewards that accompany their development.

If your time is not being used to get what you want, ask yourself why.  There is absolutely nothing in your way except you.  Some of the worst tyrants in the world and some of the most physcially ugly people in the world have achieved great things in their lives only because they thought well of themselves and used their time to get what they wanted.  When you’re considering those extremes of personality and looks, you know there aren’t any excuses except the fantasy you’ve created in your mind about yourself.

How will you be spending your time from this point on?

Lorraine Arams


MId-January – Are You Ready?

We all know it’s coming.

The crunch.

It will happen.

Why don’t we prepare?  Wishful thinking perhaps???

The holidays are over – Christmas brought around a wonderfully crazy time and the welcoming of the New Year allowed us to dream of possibilities.

It’s a slow recovery but the lull is almost over.  Soon, high gear will be the every day norm as projects at work intensify, new ones come along and the associated challenges pile up.

Prepare Now to Avoid Huge Stress

Take a piece of paper.  On the left hand side, down the side of the page, write in hours from 12 midnight to 11 pm – every half hour eg 12, 12:30 am, 1 am, etc.  Across the top, write the days of the week – all 7 days – Mon, Tues, Wed, etc.

For each day, write in the activities for each hour.  For instance, say you sleep from 10 pm to 6 am, so block that time off and write in what you do – Sleep.  And so on for every other activity.  Say, at 6 am, you prepare your body for work – grooming, dressing, eating – write down beside 6 am, these activities and block off the time it takes.  If it’s an hour, then you have blocked 6 to 7 am for work preparation.  But . . . wait . . . you don’t go to work on Saturday and Sunday —- likely your schedule will change.  Pay attention to what you are writing down.

Keep filling in this table until you have included everything you know you do regularly for each day.

You can break this down further for some of the big blocks of time like work time.  List the times you email, return calls, work on projects, etc.  Include as many regular activities as you can.

Now, the sobering part.  You’ll see one of two things:

1.  You have very little spare time to do anything more than you are doing or

2.  You have a lot of spare time to fill

Why Should You Do This Exercise?

To prevent from over booking yourself and creating a lot of stress in your life.

There will always be crunch times in life brought on by the unexpected.

But you can control what you say yes to.

For instance, are you forever volunteering at work only to find that you must stay late to finish your regular work?  Do you follow the crowd after work and never indulge in the activities you would really like to engage in?  If you have a lot time to spare, it’s not an issue.  But if you find you have little time to spare, then this exercise is for you.  You’ll see visually how little time you have to spare and when you do say yes to something new, you’ll be doing so consciously inserting the activity sanely.  Saying no is a great time and stress saver!

Try it.  You might like what you find!

Lorraine Arams

New Year – New You – How?

New Year – New You – How?

It can be simple or it can be complicated.

Which would you like it to be?

Yes, it is up to you.

Nothing in this world is complicated – nothing – except those things which people make complicated. 

Man-Made Complications can be:

  • an excuse – “My life is so complicated, no one can figure it out.”
  • a fantasy – “I’m so special, there are no answers for me”
  • appearance of false self-importance – “I’m so superior intellectually no one else can understand what I know”
  • keep people out or away – “If you don’t understand, then you can’t be a part of my world.”
  • get rich – “I know something you don’t.  If you want to know, you’ll have to pay me a lot of money to fix you”

How do I know?  Experience. 

Experience has taught me that life is actually quite simple. Human thought makes it complicated.

Humans see themselves as the most intelligent of beasts, however, that notion can also separate us and create an atmosphere in which it is possible for some but not all.

Anything is possible for everyone.  It depends on how we’ve been programmed.  And programmed we’ve all been by our parents, relatives, friends, academia, society, books, tv, internet, and a host of other sources impacting your life.

The great thing about people is that they can re-program themselves if they give up notions.  Step-by-step, as a process, it can be done successfully.

If you are a subscriber, you have found that the free goal setting you received when you signed up to this blog has allowed you to achieve some of your goals.  Why?  What is a goal? 

A goal is simply an attempt to change your life.  Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t.  Why?  Because you find that you really didn’t want what you thought you wanted and couldn’t stick with the program.  Lack of “stickability” tells you the goal you set out to accomplish was not something you really, really want.

New you – what is that?  It’s simply a goal.  Do you want it?

If you do, then use the goal accomplishing system you’ve received and begin – slowly, progressively, daily.

Lorraine Arams



Are You Planning for the Holiday Season – It’s Here!

September 30th – the Holiday Season has arrived.

  • October presents Thanksgiving
  • October also offers Hallowe’en
  • November is Remembrance Day
  • December presents us with Christmas and all the socializing and activities accompanies that time of the year – for some, a vacation is included and, of course, let’s remember Christmas Eve and Boxing Day – each a splendid celebration!
  • January opens a new year for us but New Year’s Eve hits a high note not long after Christmas

Are you ready?

Most people might be miffed by that question and yet now, the end of  September is the time to look ahead and plan now because once Thanksgiving hits, it’s one event after another all the while keeping up with everything you do now.  If you have relatives in the US, then you need to account for one more holiday, the November Thanksgiving.

Also, for most people, October and November are incredibly busy times in their workplace.  There is an intensity about those months. 

Now is the Time

Good time management means looking ahead to what seems a long way away.  You’ll be happy you took the time now to discuss and plan events. 

For instance, will you be giving a party for Hallowe’en?  Who will be on the guest list?  Decorations?   Food?  Drinks?  Games?  Costumes? If not now, when – it’s 31 days away – not long.  You know how time flies!

At the same time, plan the other events – what will you be doing for Thanksgiving?  That’s just 2 weeks away – will you be going out for dinner, having people over, and what does that entail?

Remembrance Day – will you attend services?  If so, will you take people with you?  Who?  Where will you meet?  What will you do afterwards?  Or will you go away?

Christmas activities – mid-November onwards – gifts? parties? shopping? baking? Christmas Eve?  Christmas Day? Boxing Day?  What will you need for the activities you plan? 

The Best Planning

Discuss and decide what you will do on each of those events.  Decide what you’ll need to do and have  for each of them – make lists — brainstorm with others. 

Then work backwards from the date of the event, adding tasks to your schedule leading to the event.  The scheduling at this time will assure  that you have all you need on the day.  September 30th week-end is the perfect week-end to plan and schedule before the winter sports begin, classes, meetings, fundraisers and increased workloads. 

You’ll be glad you did.  You’ll reduce your stress around the holidays, you’ll enjoy them more and everyone else will too!

Lorraine Arams


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