What Christmas Gift Fits All?

Can you think of what that might be?  Some will automatically think chocolate, another will think love and yet another will think pen.

Any of these answers, of course, may fit but what if that someone doesn’t like chocolate like one of my friends or the expression of your love to your boss might seem inappropriate or someone prefers fine nib to the medium you gave them?

Yet, there is something that everyone appreciates.  It comes in two parts.

One Christmas with a group of friends, we agreed not to buy each other gifts but to give each other something much more important – something that has lasted years.  I still have mine from that first year.  It meant a lot and has sustained me through some very difficult times when I doubted my abilities and even myself.

And this year, I would add another component.  Often, it is something left unspoken amongst friends and family and others we interact with frequently or not often enough.

You can include these in a Christmas card or along with a physical gift or simply give it to them on a simple piece of paper.

1.  List three things that you admire about that person.  It could be how kind they are to animals or the way they help family, friends and neighbors in need or how their smile lights up everyone’s life every time they interact.  Simple.  One or two sentences.

2.  Express your gratitude.  Just one thing.  Perhaps tell your husband how much you appreciate how he is a sounding board for issues at work throughout the year,  or relate to your mother and father how their advice saved you a lot of time and energy or how much you appreciate your friend’s ability to make you laugh. 

This gift can be given to EVERYONE on your list – everyone - your great mechanic who takes the special step of vacuuming your car, your boss who treats everyone fairly, your cleaning person who does such a great job week after week, your brother who helped you with renovations, your sister who guided you through a career choices – the list is endless – nieces, nephews, grandparents, friends, acquaintances, clients – there isn’t a person alive who doesn’t like to receive appreciation for their gifts and talents.  And, everyone loves to receive an expression of gratitude for something they gave without expectation of anything in return.

You may be very surprised at the reactions.  Some will cry.  Others will be shy.  And yet others will be pensive.  It’s not often we share our good feelings about others’ talents and gifts.  Everyone loves to be noticed.  Everyone loves to receive a positive expression about the marvelous parts of them.  Sometimes we appreciate what people do for us but we don’t verbalize it in writing. 

Christmas is a time of giving. 

Open your heart and fill others’ hearts with joy – real joy of connection – human to human.  Make it about them.

Lorraine Arams
http://www.wizetime.com

Possibilities

 Another 24 Hours?

More time – “I need more time” comes out of people’s mouths every single day.  Would adding another 24 hours a day to your life make a significant difference to your life?  Did you ever think about that question?

In what other areas of your life did you have a wish for more?  “If I had more . . . .”  – money, more “stuff”, more leisure, more clothes, more jewelry, more education, more friends, more love  . . . “I would be . . . . ” happier, better off, feeling good, earning more, be smarter, etc.

How many of you have ever thought that way?  Likely, everyone.

For most of us, we do get “more” only to find that we haven’t found what we thought we would realize from having “more”.  Why do you think that is?

The Trap of “More”

When we want more, it’s because there is something inside us that is unsatisfied.  Instead of “fixing” that dissatisfaction internally, we look externally for something to fill the void.  Externals don’t.  Externals don’t fix a thing and, in fact, will likely only increase the dissatisfaction inside.

The Key

We have all we need. 

The key is understanding that we don’t need “more” of anything.  Instead, we should be maximizing what we have – our talents, our relationships with family and friends, our experiences and our connection to our world.  That’s what will pay the dividends.  Being all we can be.

If you don’t believe it, drive or walk in wealthy neighborhood alleys on garbage days.  You’ll see the carnage of “having more” – a physical representation.  The wealthy have a lot of money, buy many items, and what we find in the alleys on garbage day is waste – expensive bikes which have never been used, clothes with price tags still on them, collectibles, usable electronics . . . . has “more” solved anything?  Buying, buying, buying for the sake of buying the latest and greatest and yet what is purchased is obviously not appreciated and not used.  Ever wonder what they are looking for? 

This waste is symbolic of what we all do in some way in our lives. 

We are all rich, we just don’t know it.  We squander what we have and wish for something else.

Adding another 24 hours in anyone’s day wouldn’t make a difference at all to our lives because we would live it precisely the way we are living our current 24 hours. 

The Gift We All Have

Time management is not about how many hours we have, it’s how we use those hours to maximize the possibilities of our lives.  We come into this world complete. 

We each are very special with our very own particular “blueprint” by which we can define for ourselves.  We have the freedom of will to utilize our special attributes our way.

Won’t you give yourself some time today to think about what an incredible being you are.  Won’t you take the time this week to seriously look at your talents and abilities and put them to use for the life you want?  You’re amazing – believe it – live it – be it – whatever “it” is for you in particular!  Uniqueness – we all have it – for a reason.  What will you do with yours?

Lorraine Arams
http://www.wizetime.com

Lost in Facebook?  What do you do about it?

So many people get caught up in social media.  It’s fascinating!  All the people you can meet – the conversations you can have – the opportunities are boundless – you can talk about any of your interests with someone who shares that interest – what a cornucopia of options!

Then, we look at the clock . . . . . . . oh! my!!!! – 6 hours have gone by!  Where has the time gone!  And your to do list is still waiting!

Facebook can steal your life – it’s even possible to get addicted to Facebook and other social media!

After all, it’s exciting – there is always something new –

Can you live your life by Facebook?

That’s a choice for you to make.

But . . . .

If you need to live more life, then Facebook needs to be put back into the box with all the other social media.  I know you don’t want to miss anything . . . the question is what are you missing in other parts of your life because you are spending so much time on Facebook?

Are your friends neglected?

Do you spend enough time with your partner or your children or your parents or other relatives?

Are you exercising?

Are you getting enough sleep?

Are you eating regularly?

How addicted are you?

Put the Genie Back in the Bottle

Facebook and all other social media, like anything and everything in your life, needs to have a place – a place allocated in your schedule just like everything else.

Along with scheduling time for social media, it’s important to be very disciplined about the amount of time spent on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and other sites you love.  Love can become an enslaver if you don’t control it.

The Solution

• Allocate time, say 1 hour a day.
• Book it in your calendar.
• Stay within those parameters.
• Put a timer on your computer to time yourself.
• And, no matter how much your hand shakes when you’re reaching for that mouse, turn it off at the allotted time!
• Put Facebook and other social media to bed on time!

You’ll love yourself for it!

Lorraine Arams
http://www.wizetime.com

Can it get worse?

Can it get better?

What do you want to believe?

There are lots of reasons to think either way.

Life is about creating your best life.

Your best life is built on deciding what you want, taking care of yourself and living every day in pursuit of the right life for you.

You can live a life of misery complaining about everything,  angry at everyone and nothing is ever satisfactory no matter how wonderful.  Seeking to identify  “what’s bad” about everything and everyone gets you nowhere.

“Woe is me” will never ever get you to move forward.  It will keep you stuck in the past.

On the other side of the coin . . . .

“The world is a wonderful place.  I love everything and everybody.”  will keep you stuck in la-la land!  This is not positive.  It’s just another extreme.

What’s the real deal?  Where should you spend your time?

Creating the life you want.  Look at the pros and cons – decide on a plan of action and move on it.  The first few things you do might be totally wrong but you’ll be able to correct and keep moving.  If you really, really want the thing you’re after then never, ever give up.  It means that when you meet obstacles, find ways to go around, over, through or under them.  Ask people questions.  Today, it’s so easy – get on a forum and ask questions – observe – listen – contribute.

What will you find?

Fun!  You’ll have fun getting to where you want to go.  You’ll find life rewarding.  You’ll find excitement and understand there will be problems.  Using your creativity to overcome issues generates high levels of energy and connecting with others who can help you.  Let life enter your life and you’ll see how getting what you want may not be a straight road but an adventure!  Believe that your life will always get better no matter the obstacles – the stronger the winds, the stronger the tree!

Lorraine Arams

http://www.wizetime.com

Time is Free – really???

A comment was made recently on social media that “time is free”.  I was stunned!  It shocked my brain!  Time is free!  How would anyone come to that conclusion?

I’ve been wondering why so many people are quite nonchalant about time management.  It dawned on me it’s likely because time is simply not valued – the prevalent thinking out there is that “time is free” – an attitude which may explain many things about people’s lives.

It’s perhaps why so many people live lives of quiet desperation or lack consciousness about their lives because a fundamental principle is missing – time is your life – are you not valuing your life?

Your life is not free either.  Every single second you spend either enhances your life or doesn’t and it’s costing the earth a lot – the food you consume, society’s resources to grow that food, the oxygen you breath, the space you consume, the raw resources used to provide clothing and transportation, etc – being alive is expensive to the earth and society!

Time is Money

Let’s put time into terms that most people will understand – earned money!  Let’s see, Stephen J. Hemsley of United Health Group earned $101.96 million plus owns $111.4 million.  How much tv do you think he watched climbing to that height of earning power?  That’s around $8.5 million per month,  $4,408.70  per working hour (based on 1928 hours of work, $73.48 per minute.  How do you think he looks at time?  Do you think he believes that “time is free”?  Of course not!  Time is extremely valuable.

Most wealthy people understand that time is money – literally – every second they spend in their work is “managed” for the greatest return on investment.

They invest their time into activities which afford them the greatest return – that’s money.  What activities do you think that might be?  Do you think it might involve watching tv every night or playing video games?

Time is Relationships

Okay, so money is not your bag.  Let’s think about people who are family oriented – they value family and their world consists of being totally and absolutely involved with family members.  What are they earning?  Love, caring, support – a whole host of important factors in that persons life.  They are involved in order to get what they want from the relationships they value.  They earn enough money to care for their families well but the majority of the time is spent working on the relationships.  Is time free?  Again, it has a price.

What if they said they said their most valuable asset was family but they spent all their time working?  Would that make sense? Would they get the return they claim they desire?

Tangible or not, time has a price.

What are your actions and words saying about your attitude towards time?

Without time, there is nothing – a void – nothing exists.  Like Carl Sagan said -  to bake an apple pie, you need to create a universe first – think about it.  If the universe didn’t exist, the earth wouldn’t exist.  If the earth didn’t exist, then there would be no animals or plants or rain or people – there would be nothing with which to bake an apple pie and no one to figure it out.

How are you building your universe?

Time is not free – it’s a resource, a tool, for which you pay a dear price if you don’t use it to achieve your goals.  For instance, if you have always wanted to be president of the company but you spend as much time away from work as possible, you don’t network, you won’t get the degrees needed in your particular company or don’t do the type of work which may get you the top job, then your time is costing you a great deal – you’re missing out on the multi-million dollar salary and benefit package of being president!  In accounting it’s called a loss – you’re in the red until you get to be president – in Stephen Helmsley’s case, you’d be losing $73.48 every minute of every working day (less what you’re making now, of  course – how much is that?)!

Think about how your attitude towards time – it may just surprise you!

Lorraine Arams
http://www.wizetime.com
coming soon – program to set you on course!

What Exists

There are thousands of pages written about time management – books, reports, articles, and now, of course, time management is on video.  There are hundreds of people giving time management workshops every year and yet . . .  people generally avoid the whole idea of even implementing the slightest technique into their world.

Why?

Because like going to the dentist, you know you should but you don’t want to and you don’t like it.  You don’t want to feel restricted and likely don’t want to change either.

Why?

Pain.

Is There Anyone Who Doesn’t See It That Way?

Yes.  Many.

People who are inclined to very precise work such as accountants, researchers, organizers, certain types of managers, military, teachers, etc.  There are many, many people who will take time management courses and apply the principles to the letter.  That’s the way they are.  But, the majority of the people don’t think that way and time management seems like drudgery than a solution.

There’s a second reason – the particular time management system they’ve adopted fits.  It fits what they do, their lives.

Not every time management system fits everyone.

Is There Another Viewpoint?

Time management is never associated with fun – it’s always associated with getting more out of us rather than giving us something – higher productivity, scheduling, prioritizing, planning, etc. Yuck! Who wants to be caged?  By the time you’re finished planning, prioritizing and scheduling, the day is over and your work is still to be done!

Our resistance is based on our psychological need to be free and our need to have a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day.

Time management is most always presented as restrictive – an invisible jail cell!

Actually, time management can free you to have more fun, more money, greater success in relationships and more “kick the can” type of days.

Why Don’t We Use It at Work?

Because work takes up 8 hours a day not counting the commute.  Whether you’re efficient or not with your time is irrelevant.  You have to stay at work for the prescribed time set by your employer.  So why bother being efficient and effective — if you finish your work early, you still have to sit there until the end of the day.

So, people get into bad habits because time management really doesn’t matter.  They meet the deadlines but stretch the work to meet those deadlines.   Everyone stays at work between such and such hours and that’s it, effective or not.

Your Other Life

But . . . .  you have another life . . . . outside of work.  And this is where time management can really put a “zing” into your life!  You’d love it if you could see the reward – fill your life with satisfaction, fun, and making it count.  If you were effective and efficient in personal life, imagine what you could do.  All you need do is have a conscious view of how to spend your time.  It’ll make you happy where it counts!

So think of time management, not by thinking how much more work you can fit into your day, but how much more fun!

Lorraine Arams
http://www.wizetime.com

The Grapevine

People love to watch other people.  People love to share.

Gossip is one of those moments of sharing – usually about something naughty that someone else has done or some dire news.

They call it the “grapevine”.  One person tells another who tells another and so on.  Of course, we know that the story gets distorted along the way.

“John saw the boss out with someone other than his wife on Saturday night.  Looked pretty cozy.”

“Carol got into a lot of trouble with Joan.  They started to fight in front of the boss and the boss told them they had to both shape up or ship out.  Carol said that she was looking for another job.”

“Did you hear that Bob and Joan are having an affair.  Policy says they shouldn’t but they don’t care.  They are anyway.  I saw them kissing in Bob’s car at lunch.”

“Did you hear that the Jenn’s entire department is getting axed?  I wonder what brought that on.”

Should You or Shouldn’t You Participate in Gossip?

One the one hand, it’s “news”, on the other hand, it’s hearsay.  Sometimes gossip may be true and sometimes it’s totally false.

It could be that the boss was out with his niece from out of town and there was only a small table available.  The kiss Joan gave Bob was on the cheek thanking him for help, and Jenn’s department is being moved to another part of the building to be closer to a team they work closely with.  It could be that Joan and Carol are both spirited and passionate resulting in passionate outbursts – neither are looking for a job.  Carol was talking about something else entirely.

Gossiping is Big Business – Men, Women and Children all do it!

People Magazine and other such magazines have created a huge empire gossiping.  Writers creating “society” columns are gossiping.  Gossip is a great social activity – everyone loves it and everyone does it – everyone.  The moment you utter someone’s name and something they did to another individual, you’re gossiping – men do it – women do it – children do it – it’s part of the social fabric.

BUT  . . . .  at work, it can get you into some very serious trouble. 

Work

Work is the way you earn your money so you can live – shelter, food and clothing.  Gossip can get you fired – at the very least, it can create alienation either for you or someone else.

Don’t do it – it’s not worth it just to feel that you are “being part of the gang”.

What do you do instead?

Listen.  Don’t participate.  Don’t even offer an opinion – no matter what opinion you offer, it will go against you.  And whatever you do, don’t start a thread of gossip either.  Talk about the weather, the latest in sports or about some activity you are involved in – find topics outside of work if you want to network on the inside.

Outside of Workplace

AND whatever you do, do not pass on the gossip outside of work.  You never know who knows who and you could seriously damage a relationship.  For instance, you know Nancy from JVC company.  You’ve known Nancy for some time and meet up often for a drink after work.  You tell Nancy about the latest scandal at work and add your two cents worth to the story.  Little did you know that the person you were gossiping about was her uncle!!!  Oh, no!  She’s offended by what you said – relationship over!

If you must gossip, keep your work out of it – totally.  Remember, work is the means by which you earn money to meet your needs and want -  keep the stream of income flowing! Don’t do anything which jeopardizes that income no matter how innocent it may seem at the time!

Lorraine Arams
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http://www.wizetime.com

Extreme Time Management

- I thought you might be interested in reading this article about time management – some interesting comments and twists.

Look how easy it is to set priorities and support those priorities with action.  This is one of the simplest approaches I have found – with time, waste as little as possible and this quick approach crystallizes quickly what’s most important to get done.

And the tasks – so many of us simply don’t realize that we don’t have to do many tasks we “think” we need to be done or done by us – often, others can do them.  In some cases, there are no ramifications from not doing certain things.

Best of all – honor your time – we most often take time for granted – what do you think?

Standing Up in a Sit Down World

If you would like to visit Terry’s site, here is the link – click here

How will your week go this week?

Will it be fun or constructive or profitable or pleasurable?  How do you know?

Everyone knows that no two weeks are identical.  Some pleasures and some problems may exist through several weeks or months but the results of each week are quite different.  We just never know what is lurking in the next minute, hour or day – it’s a big surprise every single day we awaken and begin living the day.

Are we puppets?

To some extent we are.  There really is no way to predict what will happen to us during any particular 24 hours no matter how organized we are, no matter what great time management system we use and no matter how we “think” we control what happens in our world.

Why?

Because we simply cannot control everything in the world.  We can’t control other people.  People and events unfold in their own time and space.  Some people feel they can control people and events and their power is omnipotent.  Actually, it’s very limited.  They create a tiny sphere in which they have the illusion that they are “in charge”.  They are not.  No matter how long someone has been “in charge”, it’s finite and limited.

How can you make your week the best it can be?

Control what you can.  Calm down, smile and relax.

Watching the Masters this week-end, one young player seemed as though he was just having a game with his buddies during the four days of the competition.  On the last day, when the pressure was the most intense to win, the “wheels fell off” as they so often do in sports.  A sure thing can turn sour very easily.

The minute that tension is uncontrolled, it’ll “get you”!  Things you wouldn’t normally say or do, you say and do.  Like this young man, his weakness showed up as his mind let go of all it had learned and practiced during the weeks and months prior to the Masters.  A tendency towards directing a particular stroke showed up.  A massive lead disintigrated in minutes.  Once the negative mind takes over, the game is lost.

4 things you can practice every day, all day long to keep you on top of your game:

a)  take 3 deep breaths several times a day – don’t let tension build up. Put a recurring event in your electronic calendar to remind you every half hour.

b)  exercise every minute you can – take the stairs instead of the elevator, take your coffee “for a walk”, walk for 10 minutes at lunch

c)  have a picture on your desktop or on your wall or both which reminds you of relaxation – a beach you love, a mountain you hike all the time, your boat, a tent or campfire, etc.  Change the pictures often so you don’t stop “seeing them”.  Our mind gets used to something and we don’t notice it anymore.

d)  control the thing you can control – your mind.  Check your thoughts several times a day – how?  By what you’re feeling.  If you’re feeling dark and somber, your thoughts are negative.  If you’re feeling light and airy, your thoughts are positive.  Stay on the positive side – you can see so much more clearly from that vantage point!

Relaxation takes practice.  Tension no so much.

Little things you do consistently throughout the day, every day, will help you make your week the best it can be no matter what happens.

Lorraine Arams

http://www.wizetime.com