Posts belonging to Category Time Management Tips

How Do You Put the “You” in Time Management

Last week, I promised I would begin a series on the “foundational” pieces to time management.  This will be the first of those blogs.

This series will come to you on Mondays.  Wednesdays and Friday blogs will dedicated to time management tips, articles, events, news events and guest blogs.

I have a radio show on Blog Talk Radio too now.  It’s a new medium for me and quite interesting.  I’ll keep you posted on how that goes.  You might want to tune in to the programs sometimes.

Let’s get started on the foundational processes in time management.  I have coined the phrase, “you-centered time management”. Why would I call it that?  Because I’ve come to realize that if we don’t change our approach to how we use our time, we won’t achieve what we want in our lives.   But if we don’t know what we truly want in the first place, we can’t use our time wisely and therefore all attempts to change how we manage our time will result in a hodgepodge of tried and failed attempts at constructing the life we want.  Makes sense, doesn’t it, therefore to “dig up” from a psyche what we truly want in the first place.

Since only 3% of the population is said to achieve their goals, that leaves a whopping 97% of the people in this world who could but are not attaining the life they want.  We can change that and, if you’re interested, come along for the trip.

I would truly love to have your feedback – do keep me posted on your progress, ask me questions and let me know the discoveries you make along the way –

How Do You Put the “You” in Time Management?

It sound very easy at first glance.  It’s not.  Why?  Because we have been conditioned to:

  • take advice
  • do what others want us to do
  • recreate other people’s successes in order to achieve our own
  • want to please others’ and meet their expectations of us
  • want others to like us
  • and a host of other reasons why we have never really thought of time as our own – it’s been a calendar of things to do for a variety of purposes.  We have failed to first identify what we really want

What do you really, really, really want?  You likely know what it is but perhaps it’s buried so deep, it’s difficult to bring it forward.

For instance, when you were a child, you really loved to paint pictures – animals were your favorite subjects.  But then as you were growing up, adults told you that being a doctor or a lawyer or a teacher was the way to go because you could make a good living doing those jobs and, in some cases, the benefits were excellent.  When you graduated high school, you took the “safe route” and dropped your love of painting though you’ve always been drawn to art classes, art exhibitions, and wherever else you could look at paintings.    Eventually, you got a job, created a family and your favorite thing to do became more and more buried.  It’s the past.  We can’t do anything about it now.  However, we can now start the process of looking for what you want.

I’ll help you through this process by asking a lot of questions and eventually, at some point, you’ll have a picture of what you want.  We’ll start with money since it is one of the more serious aspects of your life.

Here are 3 questions to get this process underway.

I would suggest getting a wire-bound notebook – small or large – doesn’t matter but something you like – the color, the paper, the texture – and begin writing down your answers.  Believe me, it’ll all come together even if at first it seems it’s going nowhere and you’ve done this so many times without success.   If you put in the work, it’ll come because what we are striving for here is our innate, personal understanding of our foundational core – “who am I”.

The only point we are trying to get to here is you understanding you thoroughly. Once you understand yourself thoroughly, managing your time will become a flow like a river.  You’ll know exactly what to say yes to and what to say no to – because you’ll know where you’re heading – much like the pioneers who headed West – they didn’t know the name of the place where they would land but they knew what they wanted – to own their own land and build a life in which their children would get an education, they would be free to practice whatever religion they chose and they would have a chance at a better life.  All they knew was land was available in the West – where exactly, no one really knew.

Money – understand what money means in your life – what does money mean to you?

1.  What does money mean to you?

2.  How do you treat your money?

3.  What is your relationship with money – how much of it do you really, truly need to feel satisfied?

Think hard on these questions – your first answer might be a little “flippant”. I want you to get to a point inside yourself where you have that gut feeling you now understand money for yourself – not dollars and cents – not investments – not savings – what is money to you?  From these 3 questions, I would like for you to write a 60-word paragraph to answer these questions until you completely understand internally how you feel about money.  You likely have to write and rewrite this 60-word paragraph over and over and over again to get the paragraph to contain 60 words.  If you know something really well, you can express it in 60 words and remember it because it becomes internalized as you write and rewrite it.  You’ll change your answers to the questions often and you’ll reword your paragraph many times until there is a point where the paragraph feels right – it is the picture of money to you.  Keep these thoughts and ideas very private because everyone will have an opinion of what you’re writing down – you’re not interested in their opinion!

You have a week to do this – work on it a little every day – the point here is to get to understanding -putting the “you” in time management – putting the “you” into your own life!

Lorraine Arams

Are You Managing your Time to Make your Life Magical?

Are you managing your time in such a way that often you think, “This is magic!”

When we were children, everything was magic – a bud on a tree, a flower petal, a caterpillar, “shapes” in the clouds, a popsicle, a birthday party, a kiss, holding hands, cooking a meal, washing dishes with a sibling, hanging out with friends and nothing to do on a Saturday afternoon.  It seemed that often we had magic in our lives.  What happened?  How did we lose that ability?

Actually, we have never lost the ability, we have simply chosen not to look at the magic life presents to us every day because we are too busy.  Are we?  Actually, truly, we’re not – we fill our days with a lot of nonsense – some we make up, some we subject ourselves to and some which arrive into our consciousness whether we want it or not.

Would you like to get back some of that “old magic”? You’ll be amazed what it does for you – how it relaxes and let’s you breath deeply and fully. This morning, I took my coffee outside.  The temperature was warm with a little cool breeze and the ocean water calm.  I opened my mind to the morning.  A man was on a paddle board, paddling near the beach – how awesome is that – 6 am and he’s out there on the calm ocean floating on the water!  A couple were just ‘playing’ by the water – laughing, running, sitting – just having a good time.  The trees were still and green.  Little birds were fluttering around.  An ambulance rushed by with its siren blaring.  The garbage took off with its load from containers.  A few cars passed by.  It was all magic!  So much going on in one little space in a big world!  It felt “refreshing” and calming – it was magical!  Ordinary, every day events, people and activities – yet, just a few minutes of paying attention brought forward the magic of every day living.

Try it – you might like it – it helps the brain disengage and relax.  The body, accordingly, relaxes and, for a brief moment, you’re transported to another plane.  How about bringing back your magic? 

Lorraine Arams

Time is a One-Way Street – Are You Shocked by That Statement?

Have you every thought about this obvious fact – time is a one way street!

The time of your life is a one-way street – are you at all interested?

There’s no going back and there’s no going forward either – this moment right now is all we have. It’s really tough for us to get our heads around that notion because we are so used to living and so used to having more and more time without doing anything to get it – it’s just there – it’s given to us.

Our memories are the past which we can never, ever relive again – that moment is gone forever.  The future is unpredictable no matter how predictable we want it to be.  You can plan until the cows come home but you really have no idea what’s around the corner in the next moment of your life.

Because we get used to time, we don’t think about it very much.  But when we’ve neglected to honor it, we blame a lack of time for our troubles. In actual fact, it is only our own neglect of our time which causes our problems with time.

All we have to do is look on the internet.  Time management is slotted into other sites which talk about everything else – time management in many instances is just one of the topics of the site – almost like an after-thought.

Time management is not about managing minutes, hours, days, weeks – it’s about your life! All of your life – and what rolls around in your head is the very key to time management – get the head straight, you’ll get time management working as it should.

Over the next few posts, I will be talking about the psychology of time management – the source of all time management ills.  It’s what I term as “you-centered time management”.  I’ll give you some questions to start clarifying your relationship with time – a course in time management with a twist;  it’s the only way to truly become master of  time, of your life.

Many tools are provided on the internet and yet people struggle with managing their time.  None of the tools will ever work until you are able to get a handle on your relationship with time.  Once you are clear, then you’ll see that time management will sort itself out.

Time is the one-way street of our lifeare you at all interested? Are you using it wisely or are you squandering it?  Is time passing by?  Do you feel in control of your time or a passenger on a fast train nowhere?  Are you stressed to the maximum and yet there is more to do?  Your life doesn’t need to be lived that way.  Stay tuned and I’d love your input so please leave a comment  –

Lorraine Arams
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“the missing link”

When is Generosity a Great Marketing Tool?

When is generosity a great marketing tool?

Did you ever ask that question?  Has anyone thought about it?  Is generosity always a good marketing tool?

On the internet, there is flood of examples in which marketers “appear” to be generous when in actual fact they are not – they’re very charming, have a lot of energy but the heart is cold.  In the end, they withhold the most important details in order to sell customers more and more and more – it’s never enough!  And people, trying to build an income online, find themselves broke and flattened by the experience being blamed by the marketer for something or other – not working hard enough, not doing the right things, etc.  Some brick and mortar stores and other businesses do the same – it’s not exclusive to the internet – huge promises to get people hooked but the product does not deliver – we’ve all had that experience!

During the time of “plenty”, not that long ago before thousands lost their jobs in many prosperous countries, people would buy, buy, buy.  Now the tide has turned and the trend is towards buying quality rather than quantity.  Still, many internet marketers believe that the higher the price, the higher the perceived value.

This week-end, I participated in a much more powerful tool – sincere generosity. A woman, Shawna Seigel,(formerly Shawna Fennell) presented an entire week-end of education for internet business people – the ones starting out and the ones wanting to improve their businesses – FREE! You heard right – FREE!  And it’s not the first time either!

She’s been in an internet-based business for many years starting out as a single mom with kids to support and no money.  She found the free tools which were available at the time – there weren’t many – and built herself a business online, packing her products for shipping in the wee hours of the morning while her children slept – she had to put a roof over their heads and food on the table.  Her business grew and grew.

Her success allowed her to attend classes and conferences.  She added up the costs of one such conference – over $5,000.  She knew that most people simply couldn’t afford to spend that kind of money learning how to create a business so she used her resources and contacts to build the New Life Event.

She organizes and runs  the New Life Event twice a year.  Presenters donate their time and participants promote the event on social media – no sponsors, no advertising, no lengthy self-promotions – just down to earth real, usable knowledge imparted from presenters to participants.

Unlike many conferences people attend nowadays where participants pay a fee, hotel rooms, meals and transportation, presenters at the New Life Event come to you via webinar technology.  And many of you have been to conferences where you paid a fee only to listen to one sales pitch after another.  At the New Life Event, presenters do it for free and the only promotion they have is the introduction by Shawna and their contact information on the screen – the time is spent imparting knowledge to participants.   The presenters teach!    Amazing as it may sound, especially in the internet world, this generosity is still very rare – it takes a lot of resources, organization, time and effort to put these events on – it’s not an ad on the SuperBowl – it’s real costs to a business from the most precious of their resources – time and people.

Hers is not a multi-billion dollar corporation which has huge numbers of people to support the effort and that’s what make her generosity even more incredible.

For those like me who do believe in loyalty, she has earned my loyalty – her generosity is amazing!  I learned a great deal this week-end – all week-end long – it would have taken me a long time to find all these presenters – in one week-end, not only do I have knowledge, I have genuine resources on which to rely as my business grows. (this wasn’t my first and it won’t be my last New Life Event)

If you are building a store online, consult with Shawna at And, if you are looking for sources to get those products, I would recommend Chris Malta at Worldwide Brands, person who has a ton of free videos teaching you the ins and outs of sourcing and selling products online.  Between these two people, you’ll start out on the right foot!   No, I’m not making any money promoting either business – these two people are sincere in the help they give small business owners – would-be or established.  I want people starting an online business to begin with the right people rather than kiss a lot of frogs (in some cases, this is an insult to frogs!) as I have done on my journey!

In their case, generosity is a great marketing tool because it is sincere – they don’t tell you they over-deliver, they pre-deliver in practical ways that you can use whether or not you buy their product.  In the end though, they’ve sold themselves to you and you can’t forget them – you’ll gladly tell others about them.

Generosity is a great marketing tool when it is sincere and honest, giving without expecting anything in return and providing something truly useful.

Lorraine Arams

Why Do You Procrastinate?

Why do you procrastinate?

Have you ever thought about it?  Why would anyone procrastinate?  We all the know the downside.  Often, people blame it on not having enough time.

Is that true?  Do you really not have enough time to do that thing you promised to do and have been putting off for so long?  Or has procrastination become your “friend”?

I have found there are is one and only one reason people procrastinate:  pay off – there’s a payoff – a positive reinforcement to the behavior.  It’s that simple.

I can hear the protests now – “that’s not true”, “you don’t understand my time schedule”, “that’s silly” . . . really?  Let’s have a look at it.

1.  For some, power is the motivator in situations where others are waiting for what was promised.  The longer they wait, the more powerful the procrastinator feels.  “They’re waiting for me” – what a sense of control and power that provides.

2.  For others, it’s bragging rights. “I’m such a procrastinator”  “I can’t stop procrastinating”  “I’ve procrastinated my life away” – they just love the attention that by declaring a vulnerability – they are “one of the group” – a “medal of honor” – what they are really saying is, “look at me – look at what I’ve been able to do and get away with it”.    Basically, they’re bragging about how skilled they are at “getting away with procrastination”.  It’s a perfect way to lie to themselves and others – they’ll promise to get it done and, most often, don’t but then they “are”.

3.  And still for others, it’s a chronic habit that reinforces their view of themselves – they are not worthy and they’re out to prove it to the world by procrastinating.  Of course, when the tasks are not done, they feel terrible about themselves but that’s their payoff – feeling bad about themselves is the way they live in this world  – it’s what they know and reinforces the unworthiness they believe so deeply.

4.  Then there’s the “hero syndrome” – at the last minute, the task gets done!  What a thrill! The idea here is procrastinate, procrastinate, procrastinate until the very last minute and rush like mad to get the task done – the pressure is enormous – the conditions tight – and the race to the finish line exhausting.  If it gets done, there’s a “rush” – a euphoric feeling like no other – even failure to get it done has the “thrill” attached to it!  And, of course, if others are involved, they’re also thrilled that the task did get done.  It’s like watching a football game and the kicker scores the winning points in the last 3 seconds of the game – everyone forgets the pain of a near loss.  If it is a loss, of course, everyone is deeply disappointed.

5.  Finally, “mind torture” – some people torture themselves into “pushing” themselves to do something they don’t want to do.  They simply don’t want to do it! All that has to happen is the admission, “I don’t want to do this” and then don’t whether “it won’t look good”, “they expect it of me”, “they’ll be mad”, “I just hate it”, “I should”.   Let others know that you made a promise you can’t keep – let it go.  Admit to yourself you simply don’t want to do it despite others’ expectations that you “should”.  Accept the consequences and move on.

What’s your payoff?  What do you get out of procrastinating that keeps you hooked?

Lorraine Arams
“You-centered time management”

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