My very favorite YouTube video (if you want to see it just click here) inspires.

Every time life throws me another curve, my spirit is lifted.  Sometimes, I’ve replayed this video for an hour to fill me up with what I need to get up and go again.  Life has been quite tough for a while as I face challenges I never dreamed I would ever face.

Most importantly, it’s a lesson in our human psyche.  For any of us who have ever experienced discrimination because of others’ biases, this video shows us in full color the cost of bias.

In color for all to see . . .

A real live example of age and physical appearance biases.  We all lost for a very long time because she didn’t “fit” the false belief that a person has to be slim, gorgeous,  and polished with flawless skin to have talent.

Real looking people have real talent too!

The opinions were swift to show . . .

There she stood.  Ridiculed when she told of her dream.  How dare she have a dream like that at her age and with those “looks”!  They laughed.

She ignored their jeers – she probably had heard them her whole life.

Little did they know that they were just about to have an experience of a lifetime – coming face-to-face with the darkest parts of themselves in the form of biases – - talent isn’t wrapped in slim, current standards of beauty – talent comes in many unexpected forms.  Could they ever know what was about to hit them?

The Aftermath . . .

How many in that audience actually went home and thought about how they themselves had reacted that day and changed?  How many people changed?  How many people started to address their biases?

She just didn’t sing.  She held up a mirror to society’s phoniness!  36 years to hold on to a dream – the tenacity, the strength, the endurance and the dedication is beyond what most of us would ever even think of giving any goal!

“I’m going to make that audience rock” , she said – do you think she did?  She made them rock on the ouside and the inside!  I took only a couple of bars and they were on their feet – shocked!  She reached down into their souls – she does it to me every single time I view this video.

“I Dreamed a Dream” – she did for 36 years!  How many of us would have that courage, that fortitude?  Yet, they laughed.

A major lesson can be learned by us all . . .

I hope that parents who have children bullied at school will show this inspirational video.

I hope those of you who are discouraged because your life has had a turn for the worse for a very long time, take inspiration and courage from this individual who waited so long to share her talent with the rest of us.

A nice, plain lady with an extraordinary talent.  How was that talent missed all these years?

Our biases.

In your workplace and at home, look for the talent – nurture it, make it blossom and enjoy the gift.  The right talent most often is not in a nice little package with the right wrapping, ribbons and colors – sometimes, the right talent comes from a place we wouldn’t expect.

I had  a situation like this in the workplace.  A wonderful human being.  All people could see was that she was overweight.  The bias was obvious.  She worked hard and was very smart.  She was willing to do what it took to move ahead in her career.

I gave her chances.  She shone.  Eventually, she rose from clerk to senior assistant in the head office.  Then, in private industry, she became a manager – her bosses loved her because she delivered excellent work and was dedicated.

What would have happened to her if we hadn’t met?  Would she still be a clerk because no one gave her a chance?

When employers complain they can’t find good help, they should look in the mirror first.  What is it in themselves, as an employer, that is not reaching and hiring the type of people to fill the “good people” criteria.  If you an employer doesn’t have good people, it’s their fault, not the employees’ – a lesson I learned the hard way.  Look at biases first and foremost.

In our lives in general, when we complain we cannot find good friends or connect with good people, look around – you may be blind because of your biases.  Where are your biases:  age, body size, type of dress, hair do, mannerisms, race, appearance, height, language – so many reasons for biases, none valid.

Eliminate your biases – look for the gifts – you might be surprised!  A diamond never comes out of the ground polished!

Lorraine Arams
http://www.wizetime.com

You need a break even when you love something.

The Set Up

I never really understood this concept until recently.  Some part of me knew it but now I believe it.  It’s internalized deeply today like never before.

I love to work.  I love the constant challenges work brings on a daily basis – it’s mentally stimulating to constantly face challenges and find resolutions or accomplish a task or complete a project successfully.  Success is addictive.  I get quite caught up in accomplishing more and more.

I love to learn too so the combination of learning continuously and applying what I learn is a thrill when it works.  On the other hand, when it doesn’t work, I find out why and I’ve learned something that way too.

The Change

Recently, an unexpected opportunity came up.  My first impulse was to refuse.  Then, I changed my mind.  I was in the middle of a project and felt I just couldn’t leave it.  I did.

And I’m so glad I did!

There is nothing like peace, quiet and nature to recharge me – the more trees, water and animals, the better – being in that kind of environment of beauty and on-going regeneration is energizing.

In the city, we simply don’t realize how much noise we are constantly subjected to day and night.  Even when we think it’ll be a quiet night, something happens.  We go to work and there’s noise – people talking, street working equipment, trucks, cars, hoists, screams and some of us have a continuous stream of “noise” coming from our electronic gadgets – the body and mind is under constant siege.

Today, I am grateful for that break.  I feel refreshed, my creativity has returned full force and I am able to complete parts of the project at lightning speed.  My body feels terrific and my mind is alert and fresh.  Problems are fun again.

We simply don’t realize . . .

Stress creeps up on us.  We don’t realize the effects of stress.  Stress comes from many places in our lives, and it all piles up.  Eventually, like an overloaded piece of machinery, our performance slows, our mind gets cluttered and things move along much more slowly despite exercising, watching our diet and sleeping.

It’s Critical to Find a Place for Rejuvenation

Not everyone rejuvenates the same way.  However, I would venture to say that being surrounded by nature – trees, water and animals – is for everyone.  It reconnects us with our essence and allows us to breath good air.

In the city, the air is filled with chemicals and fumes – our lungs work hard.  In nature, your whole body drinks in the oxygen like a sponge and all of a sudden we have more energy – lots more energy!  In an instant, our body feels better.  Our mind seems clearer.  Food tastes better and we don’t need much of it to feel very satisfied.  Curiosity returns and engagement with people is so pleasant.

A break every couple of months – for a few days – I think is just the right thing to do for the health of your whole being and your whole life – and that message comes from a workaholic!

As a convert, I will put it in my calendar to schedule a few days off in nature every couple of months.  The return on investment is priceless!

The Recipe

You don’t have to believe me – experience it – leave all your electronic gadgets off for a few days – yes, your cell phone too – and give yourself the luxury of a total break (no sneaking out at night to check your email).  Don’t take work with you either and don’t give anyone the number of the place you will be staying at either – no one from the office or your home can reach you.  Take a book with you you’ve always wanted to read and a journal to jot down all of your thoughts and your dreams.  Walk a lot.  Resist going home after two days.  Stay a full five days away from everything including tv and computers.  Just connect with what’s around you.  It’s a simple but difficult process for many in this wild, wild world!  You’ll be glad you too the time for some “nature” therapy!

Lorraine Arams
http://www.wizetime.com

Hard work – I hear work referred to constantly as “hard”!  Is it?

Are we obsessed?  Do we think that somehow if we refer to our work as hard that it makes us somehow more special than if we referred to our work as fun?

I think so.  Why else would we condition ourselves and tell others how hard our work is?

Does anyone like anything that is continuously hard?  I don’t think so.  Is it any surprise then that 85% of the people hate their jobs?

Thinking about work

We’re thinking about our work and our jobs the wrong way around.  We think of them as austere – hard -

• go to work and “be professional” – who defines “professional”?  Often people say the word to express to you that they don’t like something you said or did and has nothing to do with whether it was “professional” or not!
• Show up on time and stay late – that’s encouraging!  Really makes people want to do their best work?!?
  
• Don’t laugh!  Heaven forbid there should be any fun at work!
  
• Don’t have fun!  Oh, no – fun and laughter in the workplace – how repulsive!  It’s serious business you know – serious about what?
  
• Your boss is out to get you – the big meanie!
• Office politics – what are there?  Does anyone really know?  Are office politics just a mean game by people who love to manipulate?
• Don’t show emotion!  Oh, no!  An emotion – heavens – a human showing emotion!  What have we come to!
  

If someone came from another world and you described work in these terms, do you think they’d hurry and get a job?

Only if they were insane!

We are!

We believe this nonsense right from the start.  As we evolve into management, we bring these beliefs with us.  Isn’t it about time to change and make the workplace a friendly rather than hostile environment?

Can it be different?

Yes, you can work and have fun!  You can laugh! You can show emotion and still make a profit!  All human things in the workplace are possible – it’s whether or not management is willing to work with people or not.  It’s so much easier to give orders.  It is so much more complex to actually create a humane atmosphere at work.

The bonus:  people stop thinking of their workplace as a hostile environment and the “work family” is born with all its warts and beauty.

How Do I Know?

I’ve lived both worlds of work.  I can tell you that the humane place is more complex but more gets done with greater efficiency and effectiveness than the obedience model.

I learned to manage that way because I felt there was a better way and there was.  My superiors were shocked to hear the laughter and experience the high levels of productivity and involvement.  My superiors were shocked by the tears that flowed when I left.  They could have done the same but they couldn’t bring themselves to do the work it takes to get to that point.  Perhaps they didn’t know how.

If you want your workplace to be a place where your employees want to show up, contact me.  I’ll show you how.  My consultancy is all about making your operations effective and efficient but fun and profitable.  I’m on LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter – just type in my name – you’ll find me – and send me a message or comment on this blog.

Lorraine Arams

http://www.wizetime.com

What’s The Only?

The Only used to be a very tiny little restaurant in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada which was known far and wide.

Why?

It’s a lesson in success:  Provide a good product at a good price with energy, enthusiasm and a smile!  Create “an experience” every single time.   They’ll pack in!

Was it a dump?

The Only may have been considered to be a “dump” by some.  But the diamonds, rubies and gold which shone on some people would tell a different story. They came too – the rich.

On the other hand, the person sitting on the next stool could be someone quite poor.  The rich and the poor mingled every single night, 7 days a week at this little “steamer”.  There was no snobbery – everyone conversed with everyone else – it was the name of the game.

It was very tiny – counters with stools and a couple of tables against the wall.  There was always a waiting line – people crowded at the door like sardines waiting for someone to leave.  The shouts of glee when someone finally got a seat!

The Chinese cooks cooked right in front of the counters – big black woks, steaming away till the last customer was out the door – in the wee, wee hours of the morning – clang, bang, sizzle . . .

The menu was small – very small – clams, mussels, fresh fish, a few noodles and vegetables – that’s it.  But everything was clean and fresh – that’s one of the main attractions – fresh shellfish, fresh vegetables and cooked fresh – right there, right now.

There was no waiter or waitress – just cooks – they took your order – no 1, 2, 3, 4, . . . ..  Done.  In minutes, you had your order!  Sumptuous, flavorful – the wafts of onion and garlic were constant and made those waiting drool in anticipation!

People came back for more – from Toronto, New York, Europe – all over the world – The Only was the place to go!  The word was:  if you didn’t go to The Only, you really missed something special!

What happened?

There are still a few holes in the wall like The Only.  The Only itself succumbed to massive development projects in downtown Vancouver.  Sometimes change is not always what it is cracked up to be!

People still talk about The Only today.  It has never been duplicated.  And yet . . . what a simple and effective business model – fresh food cooked fresh with lots of energy and enthusiasm at a good price and a smile welcoming everyone – rich and poor – and each person was treated the same.  It was an experience!  Everyone was made to feel as though they were part of the scene!

You got to know the names of the cooks.  They spoke very little English but were always friendly and fast. You felt “at home”.

Lorraine Arams
http://www.wizetime.com

STAYING CALM -IT’S AT A PREMIUM!

It’s so wonderful to be calm.  We love it, don’t we?  Even the most hyper of us love the feeling of calm.

Today

In our busy world, calm seems to be at a premium.  If our cell phones aren’t ringing or vibrating, someone is honking at us.  At work, emails come in fast and furious, the phones ring, people “drop by” to talk, someone asks for help, and we run to the gym at lunch hour where the machines whirl, bang and people grunt and fret – oh, no, another pound!

How can we stay calm when from the time the alarm clock rings, we are surrounded by noise, demands and schedules?

Here are a few ways to help you “sneak in” some calm into your day, every day:

1. Breathe:  On your computer, set an automatic reminder every hour on the hour, to take 10 deep breaths.  It’s a quick way to make sure the anxiety and stress doesn’t build up to a peak by the end of the day. Breath in down to your belly and breath out to empty your lungs.
   

2. Stretch: Put another reminder on your computer every hour or hour and a half, to stretch your body.  Stress builds up in the body and stretching for 5 minutes several times a day can release your body from the tightness which can build up.

3. Nature: Every single day, even if it is only for 15 minutes, go outside, smile at a dog, watch the wind in the trees – get back to nature somehow.  We’re indoors a lot and just that fact alone can start making us feel like a caged animal.  Free yourself, go outside, appreciate a flower!

4. Gadget: Invest $10 in a stress squeeze ball and take it to meetings with you.  When you start feeling any negative feeling, squeeze the hell out of it!  You’ll feel better and stay in control of your feelings.

5. The Written Word: Write down everything that is whirling around in your head.  It clears the brain and releases the emotion associated with them.

6. Sleep: Schedule the sleep you need – all of it!  Sleep should be the most important part of your schedule.  Without sleep, all your activities take longer and your emotions are closer to the surface. You can waste a lot of time trying to get yourself to “wake up” or “energized”.  Use that time to sleep instead!

Calm is good!  Calm makes your day go much better even if someone screams at you for no reason!  Calm is a good habit to cultivate for the enormous benefits it gives us!

For more tips on managing your time, do visit my blog at http://www.wizetime.com – make it easy on yourself, sign up and get each new posting directly into your email box or your RSS feed.

Lorraine Arams

Angry?  Why?

Did you ever wonder why you get angry?

Yesterday, I was sitting quietly – it was a pretty good day.  Then someone said something.  I was upset.  My mood changed from okay to angry.

I observed myself and wondered why I get angry.  What is it in me which turns on the “fire” when something is said or done by someone else?

The television was on at the time.  They were showing some of the protesters in Egypt.  They were angry.  Why?

So I thought about anger while calming myself down.

WHY oh WHY?

It dawned on me that there is only reason why anyone gets angry:   not getting what they want – very simple!  How simple is that concept!

Books have been written about anger.  Workbooks have been written on how to deal with anger.  People are talking about it all the time or upset because someone else is angry at them.

Yet . . . the answer is so simple.

Why were the people in Egypt angry?  They were not getting freedom, democracy which to them translates to a better life for them and their families.  They were angry – they wanted a better life and weren’t getting it.

Why does a child get angry in a store?  Because the parent isn’t buying the candy the child  wants.

Why does a manager get angry at an employee?  Because the employee is not getting done what the manager has been assigned.

Why does a spouse get angry at the other?  One of the spouses is not doing what the other wants – help, hugs, support, caring, etc.

Solution

For me, understanding why often leads to finding good solutions.  In this case, I found a way to defuse my anger by asking myself:  “What am I not getting that I want?”  followed by, “What can I do to get it?”.

What that did for me was to quit wasting time reeling, and spend my time productively figuring how I could get what I wanted without the impact  an angry response would generate.

How was I going to convince the other person to give me what I wanted?

Concentrating on finding the words and the approach to communicating with them dispelled the emotion.  While my mind was busy innovating, there was no room for anything else.

Give it a try.  Drop me line.  Let me know if it works for you too.

Lorraine Arams

http://www.wizetime.com

Off your goal rails?

It’s almost February.  By now, goals are a distant memory.  Life has taken over once again and dreams are put on the back burner until next year or maybe never.

It’s happened before, right?

Great excitement January 1st, great goals – you could see them in your mind’s eye.  You may even have gone through the process following some system you learned on the internet or in a course or a book.   You wrote them down. You were very specific what you wanted.  You even found a way to measure your goals.

Yet, nothing has happened.

Did you get overwhelmed?

Likely – work, family, exchanging gifts, cleaning up, and getting back to the routine of life – where is there time to fit in the goals?  The “goals” part could have been the problem – too many, too little time.

So you dropped the whole idea of achieving any of the goals because you didn’t have the time – so you thought.

Are you willing to try again?

Try the system on this site. It has a twist to it and will likely give you the best chance of achieving at the very least, one goal in 2011.  Success builds on success.  If you accomplish something with this system, then it will build on itself.  Give it a shot.  It’s free – the best price around!

Lorraine Arams

http://www.wizetime.com

How can you ever possible measure something you’ve never seen?

This would seem to be a logical question.  However, in the previous post about specificity, you can easily see that any goal is actually measurable when you are clear about exactly what you want.

I used a car example.  Once you know all the details of the car, you can go online and find out what a car with those specific attributes will cost.  That’s your measurable – the cost of the car.  You know that when you have saved that much money, you can buy the car and your goal of owning that car is done – you’ve achieved it!  One of the steps will be easy to determine:  how much will you have to save each month and for how many months in order to attain that goal?

It’s the same with any goal you set.  Once the specifics have been worked out, the measurable can usually be quite easy to determine.

Do you think you can do it? Of course – it all starts with the details in the first part of SMART goal setting.

Lorraine Arams

http://www.wizeimte.com

Did you ever wonder why your goals need to have specificity to them?

The SMART system suggests that goals should be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-based.

Why isn’t it good enough just to say,

• “I want a new car”
• “I want more money”
• “I am working to a degree”

For some people, it might quite clear why specificity is a good idea but for others, the reason may not stand out immediately.

I didn’t at first.  I thought what’s wrong with just wanting a new car or more money.  Of course, there was nothing wrong with it except there is no real definition – could I see “more money” – how much more and for what?

Owning It

One of the most important aspects of goal setting is “owning the goal”.  In other words, you can see it in your mind’s eye and  you can feel the feeling of owning it, doing it or experiencing it.  How can anyone stir up pictures and emotions without a specific description?

Writing down the specifics of the goal makes it more concrete.  What does the goal look like when it is completed?

For instance, if it’s a new car, what color is it? What make is it? How much does it cost?  What does the interior look like?  What model year is it?  What extras does it have?  Does it have air conditioning?  What kind of tires does it require?  What’s the size of the engine and how much will it cost to fill up the tank?  Where will you keep it?  How will the car be used? What is the highest speed it will travel?  Does it have 4-wheel drive?

If the description is such that you can read it to yourself or someone else and actually “see it” and “feel it”, then you have been successful in being specific about your goal.

Once the goal is specific, the other factors are quite easy to fill in.  It is this first criteria which is the most challenging and most important of all.

Try it – see if you can make your goal so very specific that you can actually “see it” and “feel it”.

Lorraine Arams

http://www.wizetime.com

How do I keep track of my goals while I’m in the process of achieving them?

It’s a quandary which many people have because, for many, it’s the first time they have taken goal achievement seriously.

As I indicated in my last blog, achieving your goals is a process, often, a very long process.  Some goals may take years to achieve.  At a minimum, larger goals take at least a year to attain.  That’s a long time.

How do you keep track of such a long process?

There are many ways to do it and it’s so very personal.  I would say this:  use whatever makes sense to you.

However, I would say that you do need one essential thing:  a physical way of keeping everything in one place.

For what?  To write everything down – goal descriptions, thoughts, ideas, changes, rewrites, planning, creating, information gathering, notes about conversations you’ve had, names and phone numbers of people you meet or to whom you are referred – so many details – all in one place.

1.  One suggestion is a hard cover journal type book with ruled lines in it.

2.  Some people are technology bound.  That’s fine as long as you have a device in which you can make notes any time, anywhere and preferably use online storage for all the content should you lose your portable device or it is damaged.  You’ll lose so much if, somehow, there is no access to the process you’ve gone through and the information you’ve collected.

3.  You can have a combination of both written and technology.  In that case, I would suggest a binder instead of a hard cover writing book.  You’ll need blank sheets for handwriting and section in which to put copies of your computer generated process.  Some people know how to use project management software, some people love Excel and others like using Photoshop for a pictorial representation of the goal.  Whatever you use, make sure to have copies all in one spot along with the notes you write.

Then . . .

make sure that you write the steps to be taken in your schedule within the time slot you’ve allocated for achieving your goal.  You may know that I am a fan of working on your goals every single day, even it consists of only five minutes.  However, I do suggest that you have time set aside for your goals at least every week – no longer otherwise your goals will be forgotten.  If it’s important to you, you’ll make space for it in your life!

We all take pictures of the trips we’ve taken.  This is one “trip” you build the picture as you go along and you don’t want to miss a minute of it!

Lorraine Arams

http://www.wizetime.com

I have a free goal setting tool on my site if you don’t have one – check it out – goal setting the time management way!