Posts belonging to Category Time Management Tips



If You’re Stressed, How do you Change – Part II

 

This is how you might be feeling with stress!

In my last article, I gave you some quick ways to begin the process of “de-stressing”.   Stress has many layers and if you want to change, you need to try many things before you know what works for you.   

I indicated that we would be looking at a few more ways to help you in achieving or regaining control over your own life.   

I’ll repeat something I said in the previous article:  no one can de-stress in a short period of time though anyone can do small things every single day which will build towards that end.  It took a long time to get into the current state and it will take some time to “unravel” the learned behaviors which propelled you into this state in the first place.   

Okay – here are three more things you can do –    

1)  Medical Attention:  I personally am not enamoured with the medical system as it exists today because the focus is mainly on money rather than helping people.  This focus changed when the doctors stopped going to patient’s homes and instead had patients come to them – it took real dedication as a doctor to make “house calls” but today, they allocate 10 minutes per appointment and see as many people as possible to make the most money possible.  Have you ever tried to figure out someone’s problem in 10 minutes?  Can’t be done but anyhow, it is what it is.  There are still many good doctors out there who are patient focused but they are few and far between.   

So how can you get help from the medical community – no matter which way you do it, it’ll be expensive –    

a)  one of the quickest but least desirable is to get a drug.  Yes, drugs do help diminish the symptoms if you are in an acute state of stress but only for a while.  Like any drug, their effectiveness wears out fairly quickly and the answer to that, of course, is to increase the dosage.  I ask you this, however:  do you really need to another problem to your list of issues?  I think it’s better to find more “natural” ways to cope   

b)  talk to a psychologist or a psychiatrist who specializes in acute stress issues.  This process will be a long one and expensive.  You might want to consider alternatives   

2)  Alternative Medicine – This is a better avenue, however, be very careful what you buy into – it may end up being more expensive and no more effective than the standard medical world.  And make sure that the people you are dealing with are properly trained from an accredited school – there are many claims made by many people who know very little especially in pyramid marketing.  Nonetheless, some techniques work very well for some people such as:   

a)  Massage – For me, this is the very best of all if you can afford it.  Why?  Because it “gives the body a break”!  When a person is stressed out, the body takes a real hit – the tension builds up in the muscles and tendons making the body stiff and sore, the organs don’t work well because they are trying to cope with a body and mind under siege and the mind, well, we all know how “crazy” our mind gets.     

Make sure that the person providing the massage is a licensed practitioner from a good school.  Why?  Because a lot of people call themselves massage therapists but have no more than 2 months of training if at all – it’s not enough.  The program should be at least a year and they should have graduated.  And there are many different spas – try several to see which one you prefer – some are wonderful, others are tacky.   

What type of massage?  You’ll have to decide for yourself.  There’s the Swedish, Shiatsu, Deep Tissue – just to name a few and each one has its benefits.  I started with Deep Tissue but many people simply can’t take the impact.  And a massage less than an hour is ineffective.     

Massage will help your mind, your emotions and your body – you may find yourself crying as the body releases the tension and you may even sob – all if it very, very good for you.   

It’s expensive – at first, you’ll likely need a massage twice a week for a while, then once week until you see yourself getting under control – and settle into a massage routine of every second or third week.  The health benefits are enormous!   

b)  Biofeedback – There are many charletans in this arena – biofeedback with a licensed and experienced practitioner can be very effective though it does take many sessions and should really be accompanied by some counseling.   

c)  Counseling – There are some good counselors but, again, it’s finding the right one.   

d)  Coaching – Coaching can be a good alternative and it also takes time.  Some coaches charge outrageous amounts of money and this is the least effective of all.  Anyone can be a coach and, even the coaches with accreditation are simply accredited to be  coach, not a counselor.  Coaching works best in other arenas where the process is more specific.   

3)  Books – there are many excellent books, however, the problem with books is that they are written for the general population, not you personally.   Nonetheess, a good book is very helpful and reading is something which can be done a little bit every day.   

 Feeling Good is one of those books that was written long ago but is still one of the most effective books on the market.  It’s very good especially for anyone who wants real knowledge from someone who worked with stressed people and was able to help them.  Another helpful resource is Stress Management – a comprehensive guide to wellness.    

Next, we’ll look at some “home remedies” for stress.   

Why am I giving you all these suggestions?  Because each one helps in its own way and no one knows, not even you, exactly what will be the right combination of things to do in order to “de-stress” and get back to a healthy state for your body and mind.  Stress and how to effect change is a process even though your tendency is to get a “quick fix” – you’re in so much agony – you just want relief!     

Stress is the result of a combination of factors – it’s never just one thing though it may be just one thing that really takes your stress from normal to a state of “over the top”.  Breath – take a lot of deep breaths all day long every day!   

Lorraine Arams
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It’s Monday – Are You Grateful? Really . . . You’re Not?

 

Explode with Gratitude – it’s Monday!

 

It’s Monday – Are You Grateful?  Really . . . you’re not?

You woke up this morning – you had a shower, food to eat, money for transportation and a job to go to.   And if you are reading this, you have access to the internet somehow.  Are you grateful or are you taking it all for granted because you’ve always had it? 

Did you ever think of the alternative?  No job, no money, no housing, no food – living under a bridge trying to keep warm! 

Wouldn’t happen to you?  You’d be amazed what could happen to you and how quickly your life can become totally unraveled!  It’s happened to thousands and thousands of people whom we seldom hear about because, as a society, we really don’t want to see that kind of reality in our own country – our psyche can’t bear the thought that it could be us in one of those tent cities which have sprung up everywhere in North America.   

I still see the faces of those people who were willing to be interviewed for a television news magazine.  They had done all the right things – paid their mortgage, saved their money, raised their children, went to work every day and did a a good job – then – POW!!!!  Lost everything – house, cars, furniture, clothing, prized possessions, contact with families, jobs, and savings – now living in a tent! 

If it’s Monday and you’re at work, “kiss the day” – love it – find how you can contribute more at work – how can you turn your wish not to be at work into a statement of gratitude for the opportunity to earn another dollar in order to secure a roof over your head, a shower, food on the table and stay healthy!  Are you doing your best? 

Gratitude is something we so easily forget because we are so used to having so much!   

Today, Monday and every Monday – every day – doesn’t it make sense to acknowledge what you have with gratitude instead of “wishing” away your life?  There are thousands and thousands of people who would like to be in your shoes right now! 

Lorraine Arams
http://www.wizetime.com
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If You Are Stressed, How Do You Change the Time Management Way?

change little by little

If you’re stressed, how do you change?

There are as many ways as there are people.  No one way is right for everyone.

However, there is one consistent truth:  changing from stressed to a de-stressed life can only be done incrementally – there is no “QUICK FIX” – been there – done that – it doesn’t work!  It took a long time to build up to this acute stress level and it will takes time to unravel these adopted behaviors and thoughts.

And using multiple methods at once will only add to the current stress – it’s better to pick 1, 2 or maximum 3 things to help you and stick with it.

What any of these methods will do for you is to remain conscious of your stress, monitor it and make the changes to your life which will reduce that stress.

Here are a few strategies.  Try them all – one at a time.  It’s the best way to know which one works best for you – the key here in terms of managing your time – don’t try them all at once – try one at a time – but being stressed, you probably want to do them all – NOW – you want a fix now – it won’t happen – and what the result will be even more stress than is currently in place!

My experience with acute stress has taught me that adding more stress is not the answer but learning to de-stress one step at a time IS – I promise.  And, yes, your natural tendency will be to go for the “stress” – but less and less as eventually we all learn that the rewards are much greater than the “buzz” we get from the adrenaline rush!  With every rush, there is a downside – controlling stress levels lessens the impact of any stressor on the mind, body and soul.

Journal – It’s a method that, at first, I thought was silly – imagine talking to yourself and writing it down!  It worked!  It took a little getting used to but I love books and love the feel of a great cover so I bought myself the most luxurious journal I could find.   Though I didn’t journal every day, I found that I liked to “talk to myself” before going to bed – it had a calming effect to get my thoughts down on paper.  To this day, I still journal and I love it –

Affirmations – These were actually not difficult and affirmations don’t let you “forget” to work on the stress issue.  I put my affirmations on my Outlook in recurring events and throughout the day, the affirmations pop up.  Yes, you should really write them out and say them outloud – I understand the effectiveness of that process but, when you’re stressed, it’s the kind of thing that “you’ll do later” but later never comes.  So having them appear on my screen regularly during the day helps.

I call it “programming”.  Affirmations such as:  “In every situation, I remain calm and focused”, “Every day, I manage my stress for best results”,  “Every day I exercise in a way which relaxes me”  – you get the idea – create some of your own.  Combine it with visualization – as these affirmations pop up at different times of the day, visualize yourself.  For instance, the first affirmation here – see yourself in the most stressful situation you can imagine and see yourself as calm and focused – feel it – calm and focused.

Delegating – One of the key reasons stress has built up is because of the belief that you “need to do it all – it’s your responsibility”  – it’s not!  The only responsibility you have is to yourself.  Everything else can be delegated.  I hear you now – “Are you nuts?  What about my child?  What about my pet?  I have to take care of them”.  This is a typical knee jerk reaction! Get real!

Think about it – 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year you are telling me that you are totally responsible for someone or something else and that no one else can take care of their needs other than you?  Does that sound sane?  Of course not.  What if you get sick?  What would happen then?

Delegating is not abdicating – it’s getting someone else to do something which they can be do equally well or better – okay, maybe not at first, but with the right teaching and practice, they will.

How can you delegate? First, with teaching someone how.  Then, asking them to repeat the instructions to you or watching them do it, correcting anything they didn’t understand.  Lastly, let them do it – their way!

If your child is five or six, they can clean their room – make their bed, put clothes away, set the table, remove dirty dishes from the table – lots and lots of little things.  It helps them learn skills they will utilize their whole lives.  And you’re building self-sufficiency and pride in their that is priceless.

As far as your pet is concerned, a dog walker can walk your dog during the day or your child can change the kitty litter.

There are a ton of ways a person can delegate both at home and at work and even for personal necessities – think about it – I do believe you’ll love the results!  And everyone else in your life will feel better too – they’ll eventually be able to enjoy your company and you, theirs and they’ll enjoy the new, more relaxed you who is not constantly rushing off to do more work you brought home from the office or put the dishes away or cut the grass.

Tomorrow, I’ll outline a few more methods I’ve tried – but if any of these appeal to you, start today.

The easiest one, of course, is creating two or three affirmations and putting them in your Outlook to have them appear in your reminder box throughout the day. (Calendar, New, Type affirmation in subject line, click on recurring on the toolbar and set it to appear daily at whatever time you wish, save).  With affirmations, it seems odd to read the same thing every day and several times during the day but remember how you learned your multiplication – you memorized them by repeating them over and over and over again until you knew them on command.

Lorraine Arams
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“Just Relax Now” – Falling on Deaf Ears!

Falling on Deaf Ears!

If your approach to someone else or to yourself is to say:  “Just Relax Now”, you’ll find the message falling on deaf ears!  Why?

Because that advice is competing with the adrenaline rush of stress! And a host of other factors.  In my opinion, the reason anyone has difficulty doing what is good for themselves is because they don’t want to face what they need to face in their lives – and being “high” on something is the way to do it.  As long as a person keeps their world in a “stressful condition”, they’re “too busy” to deal with whatever it is they could be resolving.    There are no rehab centres for stressed out people unless they end up in the hospital in cardiac arrest or they develop diabetes or they have a stroke –

Many good meaning friends and family members want to help and they think by saying, “just relax”, that somehow the message is going to get through – it won’t.  Try it on someone you know is super stressed – you’ll get ignored or a negative response – it won’t be pretty!  Hey, after all, the stressed out person has so much to do!!!  Frankly, stressed people don’t want answers, they want more stress – the drug of choice!  I know – I know – that doesn’t sound logical.

 Why isn’t everyone in that condition – everyone has to live human lives too?  Different strokes for different folks and, though, someone may not exhibit “manic” forms of stressed out behavior, it doesn’t mean they are not stressed – some people “appear” very calm on the surface!  And, let’s face it – we have been taught that if we lived a life that looks stressed, we must be important!  There comes with “stress” an air of “special”- “if I’m this busy and stressed out, I must be important”!  How do they get that message?  From society – from media – from moves or from role models who exhibited this behavior.  Think about it – when you see someone stressed, don’t you see them as important?  Oh, heck, they must be because they have so much to do! 

Imagine competing against all of that with the words, “Just Relax”.  You know the message will definitely fall on deaf ears!  And anger might just get generated too – “how dare anyone say that to me!” or “if you were successful, you’d be stressed too!”.

And, if you are ready to say to yourself  “just relax”, it won’t make it any easier coming from you!  Same reasons.  So how does a person “conquer” stress? 

In small increments – the most difficult part of this process will be “seeing” yourself, teaching yourself to love yourself and accepting that you are no more or less defective than any other person in this world, that you aren’t special or important because you are experiencing acute stress and that there is absolutely no good reason whatsoever to put anyone or anything else first – beliefs are difficult to change even if the evidence is obvious!  After all, a person has been taught and lived with the messages – internally and externally – for a very long time! 

Should you bother?  Should you even try?  That’s up to you – are you ready to live with the consequences? 

“Just Relax Now” message is not the answer – it won’t happen just like that – there are no miracles when it comes to stress.  De-stressing needs re-training.

We’ll talk about some of those re-training points tomorrow.

Lorraine Arams
If you’re not attaining your goals
try my new twist on goal achievement at
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Stress Relief – Do You Really Want That?

Stress Relief – do you really want that? 

The first answer I would get from most people who feel stressed and possibly overwhelmed is —-  YES —-!!!  I’ve learned to question that notion.  Why? Because I’ve given the almight “yes” to that question too only to really discover that I thrive on stress – it’s like an addiction – I learned it well early in my career – work hard, long hours and you’ll succeed is what I was told!  So I did!  Long, hard hours most often 7 days a week, so tired sometimes, I couldn’t remember getting up!

Stress – an addiction????  You got it – and everyone in a constant state of high stress knows exactly what I’m talking about – the chemicals in the brain give you that high – you move faster, talk faster and you feel super human – look at everything you accomplish in a day!  Like any addict, we hate the down side – it’s not so much fun!  The energy is simply not the same when we reduce our stress – it feels good for a while – the body feels more refreshed but . . . the excitement – it’s missing!  And . . . let’s face it, social norms encourage and reward “hard work” – it’s in our daily vocabulary as is hello and good night!  Note here – notice I didn’t say social norms encourage healthy attitudes towards work because they don’t!

How do we keep it going?  We find an environment or create one in which we can keep that “high” generated.  However, eventually, our brains and our bodies just can’t take it any more and we end up in a heap!  It may take years of abuse.  Denial, all that time, is such a great friend!

Don’t believe me?  Read about it in magazines, newspapers and on the net – stories of people who achieved their idea of success and they crash!  Either their health gives way or their spouses leave or they lose their jobs or someone dies or . . . but, something, “whacks them”!  Something interrupts their “relationship” with the arena in which stress is perpetuated.

So . . . ask yourself:  Do I really, really want relief from stress?  Be very honest with yourself . . . not your first reaction;  Watch what you say and do . . . it’ll give you clues how you perpetuate your acutely  stressful life.  Likely, you won’t see it at first because, hey, why should you – this is exciting!  But . . . you know . . . . somewhere at the back of your mind . . . . you know . . . you need to change this modus operandi!  It’s exciting but it’s dangerous . . . what is it you really want?

Tomorrow – another blog about stress – why?  Because it’s wasting your time, your resources, your health and your relationships.  Time management is about managing your life – managing stress is part of that equation.

Lorraine Arams
Not achieving your goals? Try this new
twist on an old theme at
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