How Do you Get Confidence?
Did you ever think about where confidence comes from? There’s a lot of talk about having confidence in yourself, presenting yourself confidently, and feeling confident. How do you become confident, feel confident, present yourself as confident?
Watch a baby. If you don’t have a baby, go to a mall or a day care and watch the babies especially the ones who are desperately trying to walk. What do you see?
Do you see frustration when they try to walk and fall? Do you see encouragement by the parents? Do you see the smile on their faces when they successfully take a step? Do you see them falling again but trying again and again and again to add a step or two each time? Do you see that “look” when they have been able to add an extra step?
Why do you think they keep trying to walk despite the failures?
What happens in this process is building – building of a learned skill – walking – and with every small step, there is success. With each success comes the desire to do more – to take additional steps. Eventually, a baby is able to walk after trying for days and days and days.
Eventually, what do they have? Confidence. The confidence to walk and, once they can walk, it becomes just “something they do” without having to think about – they’ve attained a new ability.
So What? What does this have to do with me?
Think about it. It’s how you build confidence in anything you do and in yourself – one success at a time with encouraging support from someone – that’s the secret to getting, having and keeping confidence – build on your successes and get people in your circle who are continually encouraging you.
You need to do it by design.
- acknowledge every single little success along the way and take another step; you won’t always know ahead of time what that next step is but once you’ve reached one step, it’ll be easier to know where you go next – there are no recipes for anything anywhere – you have to get there your way
- take out of your circle of people anyone who is negative or not encouraging especially friends and family who are always “cutting you down” or telling you how stupid your ideas are. You want people who love and encourage you no matter how ridiculous they think your idea might be – it’s your life, not theirs! The motivation for them may be love or it may be jealousy – it’s not important where the negativity comes from. All that’s important is that you must surround yourself with people who are interested in encouraging you towards success. If you haven’t anyone in your circle, pay for somebody – a coach, a mentor –
- stay focused on what you want and do something every day to attain that something you want – a promotion, a car, a marriage, wealth, health – anything you want – do something every single day no matter how minor – it’s the habit of building the confidence in yourself one step at a time reminding yourself consistently, every day, that it’s possible to achieve success whether the result is exactly how you had pictured it at the beginning – we do change our minds sometimes as we set out on various journeys.
But . . . my life is in the pits!
It’s the only way.
No matter where you are today, begin and especially if your life is in the pits right now! Start with something in your control eg improving your health – take a walk today and decide what you’ll do tomorrow; improving finances – save a $1 today and plan what you can do tomorrow; get a new friend – join a club doing something you love like hiking, reading books, etc., introduce yourself and get to know people one at a time until you find that person you want to be friends with.
Track it. Get a small book and track your progress and decide tomorrow’s step.
Soon . . . you’ll have confidence and you’ll wonder why it seemed so difficult to get confidence. It works for everyone – the key is consistency – every single day building one tiny success upon the tiny success of the previous day and receiving encouragement from others to keep on keeping on because you’ve chosen the right people in your circle.
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