Focus on what you want – why?
Seems like an odd statement, doesn’t it – focus on what you want. Don’t people do that?
Actually, I was reminded by a good friend of mine the other day that we don’t. We more often than not focus on what we don’t want and get it!
Why Do We Focus on What We Don’t Want?
We’ve been trained that way. Remember when you were a kid, adults made statements like these:
“You don’t want to be like that kid”
“You don’t want that – it’s not good for you”
“You don’t want to be doing that. Good kids don’t do that”
“Don’t say that – it’s not right”
What did we do? We avoided being, doing, saying what we shouldn’t but . . . at the worst possible moment, we did! Remember?
These statements got stuck in our minds and we focused on avoiding doing or being the things we shouldn’t.
What was the problem? You got it – avoiding doing or saying or being something focused your mind on those things you shouldn’t.
What’s the Antidote?
The antidote is focusing on what you want.
After my conversation with my friend, I noticed I had manifested what I didn’t want – what I was actually avoiding. Avoiding is working at getting what you don’t want because it’s at the forefront of your thoughts.
Change your thoughts – don’t try to avoid anything at all. Instead, go towards what you want and focus only on that.
Can It Be That Simple?
It’s simple alright – very, very simple. But the better question, “is it easy?”. No. If your mind, by habit, focused on what you didn’t want, then turning that around is a very intense process.
What Do You Do?
I’m sure there are as many solutions as there are people to this conundrum. Here is what I did:
- wrote everything I wanted down and boiled it down to 3 things
- created a mindmap of all the ways I could get what I wanted
- created a plan of action for achieving them and placed each action in my calendar
- typed in my computer the 3 things I wanted, printed it and pasted onto my computer desk so it’s front and center
- watched my thoughts. The minute I had a thought about what I didn’t want, I changed the thought to what I wanted. I like pictures so I have a picture in my mind of what it looks and feels like to have what I want. This is the most difficult part of it all because the thoughts, from years of practice on what I didn’t want, are so automatic, they are no so easy to spot. Anyhow, like any habit, it takes time to change.
Next Time . . . .
The next time something appears into your life that you don’t want, think about this blog. Refocus your energies on what you want.
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