The impact on your time can be quite enormous.
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is how you regard yourself – your opinion of yourself – how you think of yourself. Self-esteem comes in varying degrees.
For instance, if you have trouble looking in the mirror at yourself because all you see are flaws, your self-esteem is rather low. If you go into a tirade about how stupid you are every time you make a mistake, that’s low self-esteem. The mind is occupied with negativity about the self.
The result of such a poor opinion of oneself carries with it an important deep feeling: undeserving. Undeserving translates into not making decisions about what YOU want and going after it. Often, you go after things that other people want or simply block yourself from moving forward. Lots of time and energy is wasted on the negative or in the wrong direction:
- “My nose is way too big”
- “I hate being me”
- “Why can’t I be more like my friend”
- “Why am I so stupid?”
- “If I become a doctor, my mom and dad will be proud of me. I’d rather be a carpenter but they would be so disappointed with that choice.”
These and many other excuses cover up the real issue: you don’t deserve what you want
What is time management?
Time management is, in essence, managing your life to get what you want. What is your life? Time. If you run out of time, you’re dead.
How do self-esteem and time management connect?
If you think you deserve what you want, you use your time to find ways and means to get it or a reasonable facsimile. Just that thought alone will set you on a positive path. After all, the feeling of “deserving” comes from thinking well of yourself. Yes, it is a tight-knit circle!
If you think you don’t deserve to get what you want, you fill your mind and your time focusing on your shortcomings either real or imaginary. Either way, it’s a destructive way to live your life.
Thinking poorly about yourself impacts how you walk, talk, think, behave, look and dress and . . . . the things you do. People with low self-esteem often look meek or frightened, defer eye contact at all costs, rarely talk to strangers spontaneously. The colors they wear are drab – in other words, they do everything in their power to assure that no one pays attention to them. It doesn’t depend either whether they are beautiful on the inside or the outside – the message they generate to the outside world is “I don’t feel very good about me.” The outside world responds: “If you don’t feel good about yourself, why should I?” So they are often ignored or put upon or “unseen”.
Their appearance suggests to others they don’t want more so even people who think highly of them avoid promoting them for any reason – for job advancement, for romance, for friendships, etc
The irony here is that people with low self-esteem may actually be very talented or beautiful physically or both or may get top marks in school or work very hard in their jobs. They have incredible attributes which is covered up because of the way they think of themselves.
If you have a good opinion of yourself, everything about you is different – you walk with confidence, you talk to whomever you need to in order to find the pieces you need to get what you want, your dress is sharp and focused, your eye contact tells others you are on a mission and interested in them and what they have to say. You get noticed and many people will help you – not everyone – but many.
When we don’t go after what we want because we don’t think we deserve it, we’re wasting our lives, our valuable gifts and deny the world the value these gifts provide to society as a whole and rewards that accompany their development.
If your time is not being used to get what you want, ask yourself why. There is absolutely nothing in your way except you. Some of the worst tyrants in the world and some of the most physcially ugly people in the world have achieved great things in their lives only because they thought well of themselves and used their time to get what they wanted. When you’re considering those extremes of personality and looks, you know there aren’t any excuses except the fantasy you’ve created in your mind about yourself.
How will you be spending your time from this point on?