How Can You Save Time In Conflict Resolution?

How Can You Save Time In Conflict Resolution?How can you save time when dealing with conflict resolution? 

By addressing any hint of conflict immediately.  Right now. 

If you don’t, it will grow.  There is no doubt whatsoever about it! 

Conflict doesn’t go away – it just festers!  It may seem like the waters are calm, but in actual fact, the undercurrents are destructive.  And it doesn’t matter whether the conflict is in volunteer organizations you belong to, at work or in your personal relationships.

In Organizations – Recently, I experienced a conflict situation with someone.  She “ambushed” me at a meeting of a volunteer organization because she didn’t like some of the things I had said to her of late.  I was quite steamed of course because I could see how she had used “backroom tactics” to put me on the spot and, of course, disappointed because I thought our relationship was more positive; certainly I didn’t expect this kind of behavior.  She had “prepared” her compatriots for the “attack”.  Well, the attack backfired on her and “her people” didn’t support her.  Did I want a repeat of this behavior on her part?  No, of course not.

She was going away so I sent her an email indicating that I wanted a telephone conversation to clear the air upon her return.  I told her what I was upset about.  Her response?  To send my emails, without my permission, to everyone in the group which, of course, is not good for the group dynamics.   This is the kind of person is highly destructive no matter where she operates.  Her style is “my way or the highway” and, if you don’t agree with her, she’ll “get you”.  How?  Through the ”gang up” method -  the schoolyard bully syndrome.  Will this conflict ever be resolved?  I don’t know. 

This is an example where I have a choice - is resolving this conflict worth it?    

At Work - Often, people don’t have a choice – they have to go to the office every day of the week and face someone which whom they are having a conflict.  In the office, as a manager, I learned through experience that it was my job to deal with conflict – any conflict – whether it was between employee in my department, between an employee and myself, or between a peer and myself or even conflict between my boss and I.  Most managers don’t want to deal with conflict and do everything in their power to avoid addressing it. 

If a manager sees or experiences conflict, then deal with it immediately – now – don’t wait one more second.  Set up a meeting and get through it.  Is it  stressful?  Absolutely!  That’s why most people avoid dealing with conflict because it is so emotional and so stressful that avoidance seems to be the answer.  Notice I said, “seems to be the answer”.  Avoidance is never, ever the answer in the workplace.

A secretary at one time kept referring to the Bible in the workplace constantly.  There were others on staff who were either non-believers or believed in another religion.  It irritated a lot of people but no one, not even my boss, wanted to deal with it because of the sensitivities surrounding one’s beliefs.  I dealt with it – the whole was more important than the one – she simply hadn’t realized the effect her references to the Bible were having on others.  If I hadn’t intervened, the irritations would have grown into a whole host of negative emotions and affected everyone’s work

Will you always succeed?  No.  But you will have begun the process.  There are some people who will never, ever want to participate in addressing the situation and resolving the conflict –

  • they love to live in conflict – it makes them feel alive – if conflict doesn’t exist, they’ll likely create it
  • or they’re right – at all costs and see everyone and everything else as wrong – they don’t want to generate a positive atmosphere and are unwilling often to an exchange of possible solutions; only when their jobs are at risk will they even “budge” and sometimes not even then
  • or it doesn’t fit with how they operate – as a bully or a “backroom tactician”!  It’s their way or the highway is their attitude – there is no middle ground.  If  a person doesn’t go along with everything they say and do, they’ll do everything in their power to gather support against the person and make life very uncomfortable.  These are the people you take on or leave – they can be defeated but it takes time and energy – they don’t like to be asked questions

These are the very people you must distance yourself from.  And when they are in the office, they are the type of people who should be encouraged to leave or, in the worse case scenario, start the process of dismissing them. 

You’ll find, however, that most people do want to resolve the conflict – they want to air their “side of the story” and they want a solution – most people want to live in as much harmony as possible.  Sometimes, when they see the other side, they are surprised and offer their apologies.  Sometimes, they still don’t agree but at least it’s out in the open and they know, on that point, they will never see eye to eye – and that’s okay.  Sometimes, they all of a sudden “hear each other” and discover that they were saying the same thing in different ways.  And, sometimes, it was just plain silly and they both admit it – laughing about how stupid it was to get into conflict in the first place!

It’s the same in your personal life.  My partner is a master at approaching conflict.  His approach is gentle but effective and it’s all about timing.  He’s not afraid of my emotions; he’s interested in getting rid of the problem.  It’s addressed.  Life moves on.

Will you be good at conflict resolution in all parts of your life?  Likely not.  No one is.  Where one person is master at conflict resolution at work, they fall short at home.  But it is a learned skill and, with time and conscious effort, it can be improved.

How can you save time dealing with conflict?  By dealing with it - NOW – that’s how.  There is no other way unless you are willing to accept constant tension in your environment, an increase in game playing and the inevitable escalation of conflict one way or another.  In the long run, unresolved conflict will cost you a lot more time than dealing with it immediately.

Lorraine Arams
http://www.wizetime.com

 

CBS February 7 “Undercover Boss” – A Must See!

Are Managers Hard of Hearing?

Are Managers Hard of Hearing?DO – stop talking about it! Just get the job done!

How many times does Tom Peters have to say it? 

Are managers hard of hearing?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UyvJgOCS1w[/youtube]

I was amazed to see a video on YouTube with Tom Peters still preaching the same message, ‘Don’t talk about it – do it’.  And here we are decades later after Tom Peters first started delivering that message still on the same track of the same record!  What is it about managers who have learned that meetings are the be all and end all?  How is that efficient?  How is it cost effective?  Where are the economics?

In the health industry, it was meetings from morning til night.  I was drained.  I had never ever been in an environment with so many meetings to accomplish so little.  And yet people continued to meet day after day, week after week.  What a waste of valuable time and what a waste of the taxpayers’ money!   Yes, of course it is necessary to have some meetings but meetings on purpose for information, to address a problem, to find a solution or whatever but . . . there is no necessity to be in meetings day in and day out.  When does the managing part of the management job get done?  Yes, I know, that’s the hard part!

Imagine how much it costs to have a boardroom full of managers sitting around meeting and accomplishing nothing except scheduling more meetings – the cost is astronomical!  It was a habit in the health industry as it was in government and big corporations  - nothing more.  They truly believed that’s “how business is conducted”!  Of course, there’s a status symbol attached to it too – if you’re in meetings all day, you must be important!  Not.   

Let’s simplify this notion: 

Imagine if a farmer said to his/her family, “It’s time to plant the seeds but let’s talk about it first”.  Because of the numerous meetings, the seeds are planted late or not at all.  Where do you think we would get our food from?  Absurd to think about it, isn’t it because we expect the farmer to know his/her business, get the crop planted on time for maturity during the growing season.  Yet, we accept the notion of late planting or not planting at all in boardrooms – odd, isn’t it?

You don’t have to believe me – there’s a guru who knows the subject much better than I could ever.  I believed in what Tom Peters had to say when I first read his books.   I believe that, today, more than ever, his message must sink in especially in North America where we have seen a lot of shenanigans at the top but little in the way of productivity – a few getting extremely wealthy while thousands are losing their jobs!   Could you expect anything else when people are meeting just to meet – eventually, like little kids in an unsupervised classroom, they’ll eventually get into trouble out of sheer boredom – much more exciting to plot than to actually do work! 

Go, Tom Peters, go!  One day the message will get through . . . . we hope!

MEETINGS! MEETINGS! MEETINGS! – THE BIGGEST TIME WASTER OF ALL!

There has never been such an incredible amount of wasted time as there are in meetings!!!  Bar none!!! 

It’s astonishing how meetings have become the working norm – all day long people think it’s perfectly acceptable business to fill their days with meetings!  I just can’t understand it!  How can anyone get real, constructive work done if day after day after day people spend almost their entire working day in meetings. 

The answer – you can’t!  You can’t be productive and be in meetings all day – it’s impossible! 

Now if your job description said one thing and only one thing – “attend meetings” then yes, that would be the expectation of the job.  I’ve never seen a job description that had just that one line in it – have you?

Then why is it that people find it okay to be in meetings most of the working hours and that their bosses think it’s okay too!  Of course, their bosses are likely in meetings all day too so meetings beget meetings, I guess. 

When does the real work get done?  When does the job description get fulfilled?

I’ll tell you a little story which will give you an idea about good time and meeting management.   I worked in health for a while.  This is an industry that is notorious for “meetings all day long”.  And so it was.  I was shocked to find how many meetings I was expected to attend, how long each one was and how so little got accomplished.  Here’s the clincher – everyone complained how many meetings there were and how little time they all had to get things done yet no one did anything about it!  They were also exhausted at the end of each day!  I couldn’t see the logic in this kind of “meeting mania”.

One day, we got a new Director for community health.  This woman was impeccable – her hair was perfect, her dress was ideal, her manners were well honed and she smiled.  Her desk was always well organized and yet her office expressed an artistic bent – quite a combination! 

When she came on board, she sat with each one of her Managers individually.  When it came to my turn, she asked me what I would change.  Meetings.  That’s what I would change.  She attended all the meetings at first and made no comment.

Very soon, new agendas came out – with a start time, an end time and . . . more importantly, an allotment of time for each topic on the agenda.  Managers were expected to send out to all attendees a short paragraph of the issue for discussion, proposed outcomes or suggested approaches.  All managers were expected to come prepared which meant having all their supporting documentation with them in order to waste the least amount of time discussing the issue and complete in the allotted time.  If it wasn’t finished, it went to the next meeting.  However, there were only two chances to come to a conclusion on any isuse – it wouldn’t drag on for weeks, months and years as some issues had in the past.

She expected Managers to spend most of their time managing – what a novel idea!!!  In the health industry, it was a novel idea!  (I’ve worked in big business too and this is not just an “illness” of the health industry – some big businesses also “swamp” themselves in meetings)  And she watched the time that was spent in meetings by each of her Managers -  all Managers had to report on all their meetings they attended, the purpose of the meeting, the outcomes and the time taken for each meeting – in very short report!  She set time deadlines for all meetings.

It was amazing how much work got done!  Managers actually had the time to manage, supervise, improve processes and procedures and gain much more job satisfaction. 

She was truly amazing!  Not only did the business get done, issues resolved and time saved but she was making a difference to the clients who were being served.  Her focus was utilizing time effectively as she did with her own time.  She had everything in her life planned and executed to maximize every moment.   When she retired, she put up a consulting shingle – and found success there too!   She was truly a model executive – we have so few!

I’ll always remember her.  In an industry frought with inefficiency and ill use of time, she brought a fresh approach to a stale environment.  The benefits were enormous for all concerned.