WIZE TIME MANAGEMENT

Did you ever wonder how self-esteem impacts your ability to manage your time?

The impact on your time can be quite enormous.

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is how you regard yourself – your opinion of yourself – how you think of yourself.  Self-esteem comes in varying degrees.

For instance, if you have trouble looking in the mirror at yourself because all you see are flaws, your self-esteem is rather low.  If you go into a tirade about how stupid you are every time you make a mistake, that’s low self-esteem. The mind is occupied with negativity about the self.   

The result of such a poor opinion of oneself carries with it an important deep feeling: undeserving.   Undeserving translates into not making decisions about what YOU want and going after it.  Often, you go after things that other people want or simply block yourself from moving forward.  Lots of time and energy is wasted on the negative or in the wrong direction:

• “My nose is way too big”
• “I hate being me”
• “Why can’t I be more like my friend”
• “Why am I so stupid?”
• “If I become a doctor, my mom and dad will be proud of me.  I’d rather be a carpenter but they would be so disappointed with that choice.”

These and many other excuses cover up the real issue:  you don’t deserve what you want

What is time management?

Time management is, in essence, managing your life to get what you want.  What is your life?  Time.  If you run out of time, you’re dead.

How do self-esteem and time management connect?

If you think you deserve what you want, you use your time to find ways and means to get it or a reasonable facsimile.  Just that thought alone will set you on a positive path.  After all, the feeling of “deserving” comes from thinking well of yourself.  Yes, it is a tight-knit circle!

If you think you don’t deserve to get what you want, you fill your mind and your time focusing on your shortcomings either real or imaginary.  Either way, it’s a destructive way to live your life.

Thinking poorly about yourself impacts how you walk, talk, think, behave, look and dress and . . . . the things you do.  People with low self-esteem often look meek or frightened, defer eye contact at all costs, rarely talk to strangers spontaneously.  The colors they wear are drab – in other words, they do everything in their power to assure that no one  pays attention to them.  It doesn’t depend either whether they are beautiful on the inside or the outside – the message they generate to the outside world is “I don’t feel very good about me.”  The outside world responds:  “If you don’t feel good about yourself, why should I?”  So they are often ignored or put upon or “unseen”.

Their appearance suggests to others they don’t want more so even people who think highly of them avoid promoting them for any reason – for job advancement, for romance, for friendships, etc

The irony here is that people with low self-esteem may actually be very talented or beautiful physically or both or may get top marks in school or work very hard in their jobs.  They have incredible attributes which is covered up because of the way they think of themselves.

If you have a good opinion of yourself, everything about you is different – you walk with confidence, you talk to whomever you need to in order to find the pieces you need to get what you want, your dress is sharp and focused, your eye contact tells others you are on a mission and interested in them and what they have to say.  You get noticed and many people will help you – not everyone – but many. 

When we don’t go after what we want because we don’t think we deserve it, we’re wasting our lives, our valuable gifts and deny the world the value these gifts provide to society as a whole and rewards that accompany their development.

If your time is not being used to get what you want, ask yourself why.  There is absolutely nothing in your way except you.  Some of the worst tyrants in the world and some of the most physcially ugly people in the world have achieved great things in their lives only because they thought well of themselves and used their time to get what they wanted.  When you’re considering those extremes of personality and looks, you know there aren’t any excuses except the fantasy you’ve created in your mind about yourself.

How will you be spending your time from this point on?

Lorraine Arams
http://www.wizetime.com

STAYING CALM -IT’S AT A PREMIUM!

It’s so wonderful to be calm.  We love it, don’t we?  Even the most hyper of us love the feeling of calm.

Today

In our busy world, calm seems to be at a premium.  If our cell phones aren’t ringing or vibrating, someone is honking at us.  At work, emails come in fast and furious, the phones ring, people “drop by” to talk, someone asks for help, and we run to the gym at lunch hour where the machines whirl, bang and people grunt and fret – oh, no, another pound!

How can we stay calm when from the time the alarm clock rings, we are surrounded by noise, demands and schedules?

Here are a few ways to help you “sneak in” some calm into your day, every day:

1. Breathe:  On your computer, set an automatic reminder every hour on the hour, to take 10 deep breaths.  It’s a quick way to make sure the anxiety and stress doesn’t build up to a peak by the end of the day. Breath in down to your belly and breath out to empty your lungs.
   

2. Stretch: Put another reminder on your computer every hour or hour and a half, to stretch your body.  Stress builds up in the body and stretching for 5 minutes several times a day can release your body from the tightness which can build up.

3. Nature: Every single day, even if it is only for 15 minutes, go outside, smile at a dog, watch the wind in the trees – get back to nature somehow.  We’re indoors a lot and just that fact alone can start making us feel like a caged animal.  Free yourself, go outside, appreciate a flower!

4. Gadget: Invest $10 in a stress squeeze ball and take it to meetings with you.  When you start feeling any negative feeling, squeeze the hell out of it!  You’ll feel better and stay in control of your feelings.

5. The Written Word: Write down everything that is whirling around in your head.  It clears the brain and releases the emotion associated with them.

6. Sleep: Schedule the sleep you need – all of it!  Sleep should be the most important part of your schedule.  Without sleep, all your activities take longer and your emotions are closer to the surface. You can waste a lot of time trying to get yourself to “wake up” or “energized”.  Use that time to sleep instead!

Calm is good!  Calm makes your day go much better even if someone screams at you for no reason!  Calm is a good habit to cultivate for the enormous benefits it gives us!

For more tips on managing your time, do visit my blog at http://www.wizetime.com – make it easy on yourself, sign up and get each new posting directly into your email box or your RSS feed.

Lorraine Arams

Time management – why do people continue to fail – it’s not what you might think it is!

You might think it’s because someone:

• has not found the right system or
• hasn’t taken the right course or
• is undisciplined or
• is disorganized or
• is crazy or
• is plagued with character flaws

Not so . . . time management, as with all other things we learn during our lifetime must have the right foundation.  The right foundation to anything we do or are in our lives is firmly established in our thoughts.  How do we acquire those thoughts?

How we perceive ourselves and the world has been a slow process of learning from our parents, teachers, society as a whole, books, observations, school, courses,  etc.  All this information gathering occurs throughout our lifetime but especially as children and collectively, it determines how we will behave on any front in our lives. 

It is how we think of ourselves which determines how we do things.

So it is with time management - we can have the very best system in the world at our finger tips but if our thoughts are not focused on the right target, then nothing will work for us – nothing.  We can pay $15,000 for a course on time management or $20,000 for coaching or $1,000 for great software but if we simply don’t have the right approach to time management, nothing will work – nothing.

Time management – why do people continue to fail?  Because we don’t think our time is our own!  

We believe our time belongs to everyone else in our lives. 

Why?  Because we’ve been trained to think that way.  And we’ve been trained that someone else will create the structure for us - because they have for most of our lives.  Parents and/or nannies and day care workers structure our activities when we’re very small.  When we get to school, the education system determines what we do and when we do it and then most people get a job.  The employer structures our time – when we will arrive, when we will take our breaks and when we will leave – and even what they need for us to accomplish.   And every other group a person belongs to adds more structure – when church services are held, when meetings are held for your volunteer organization, etc.  Well . . . yes . . . otherwise how could we operate as a society?  Perhaps that’s true but we really don’t know, do we,  since we don’t know any other way.

The time problem, however, is personal.  And if our time is “wild and wooly” then it affects our health, relationships and our confidence – we begin to see ourselves as out of control, unable to manage our lives – most people don’t face time management because they know subconsciously that the problem is within them – deep in the psyche – and who wants to go there?  Who has the time?

If we don’t take the time to take control of our lives – our time – (without time there is no life), we get what we get – sometimes lives of quiet desperation. 

What’s the first step?  Putting ourselves first – always – with every decision we make on where we are spending your time.  What is our most cherished pay off?  How well do we know ourselves and our relationship with time?

It’s the most difficult thing for the majority of people to do – very, very hard.  Why?  Because it means that WE are NOW  in charge of the structure of our lives!  What a foreign concept for most people!

I know it exists for sure because I see it all the time with small business people and my own personal experience - the most difficult problem with becoming an entrepreneur if you have never been one is creating your own structure – that’s why most people give up owning their own business – it’s too difficult to create a structure that works for them – one that makes money – they’ve been “trained” in the opposite direction!  Most look for a job when the reality of owning a small business sets in – structure around earning money – there are no guesses – we know what time we have to spend and how much we’ll earn – built in structure.

Be sure to look for my series on small business coming soon – as is usual for me, this series will contain some revolutionary notions – sometimes complete departures from the “same old stuff” you’ve been told about small business.  In the end, though, these “notions” will save you a lot of time, money and energy!

Lorraine Arams
Foundation? One piece is setting goals
Here’s a new system which will help you succeed
where you may have failed before – complimentary – at
http://www.wizetime.com

Where does time management begin?  What an odd question!  Is it? 

Think about managing your time and let’s just think about one small capsule of the huge infinity of time – today. 

How did you start your day today? 

Were you in a good mood or stressed when you woke up this morning?  Did you rush through your shower, grab something from the cupboard for breakfast on your way out the door  OR  did you enjoy the texture of the soap against your skin, the wonderful warm water streaming down your body and the plushness of your favorite towel?  Did you sit down to a healthy breakfast?

Which of these two scenarios do you think will lead to the best time management possibilities for the day?  Just the day – that’s all - not the week or month or year. 

What is your habit? 

That small glimpse of a very short period of time today can demonstrate to you how you handle your life,  how much you take care of yourself and how much you value  all that is in your life.  Think about it.  You’ll be amazed how such a short “window” of how you “operate” in life can give you the clues you need to begin good time management habits.  Time management always begins with you and you alone – nothing and no one else can do it for you but first it’s important to know what you value.  Watch what you do – your values will scream out loud and clear!

Lorraine Arams
Get your copy of “Missing Link” between
  Goal Setting and Goal Achievement at
  http://www.wizetime.com

Do you HAVE To Do It?  The Answer is NO.  You don’t.

 In fact, you don’t HAVE TO do anything at all.  That’s the truth, the absolute truth.  It’s all in your head!

BUT . . . and here is the big BUT  . . . most of us have been trained to do our duty - we must, we must, we must has been drilled into us from early childhood –

• we must brush our teeth
• we must go to school
• we must get an education
• we must go to work
• we must save our money
• we must buy a house
• we must marry and have children

The Truth:  We Don’t Have To Do Anything At All!

The Problem:  We THINK we do.

And so it goes with everything in life – and, for some people, they get overwhelmed because in their mind:

• a good husband provides better for his family than his father did – is that true?  why?
• a good wife works all day at a job then comes home and does all the housework and childcare – so if a woman wants a husband, home and children she must work at two full time jobs – is that true? is there no other way?
• a good employee does not challenge status quo – how will change ever happen if no one challenges what is?
• a good person doesn’t say or do that – who says?  why?
• success is everything and it is demonstrated by how much “stuff” we have – so there is no other form of success except what you can show off to the world?  really?
• we must get a college education – why?  How will a college education help us train a carpenter, plumber, small business person, or chef?

With all these musts around, is it any wonder we are overwhelmed?  Is it any wonder we feel we are not managing our time well?  We try to cram many lifetimes into one!!!

So next time you hear yourself say, “I HAVE to do this”, ask yourself:  Is that true?  Why?

Here’s the main truth:  WE, ALL OF US, DON’T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING!

Take the pressure off:  WE CHOOSE WHAT WE WANT TO DO – there is a time management secret for you – CHOOSE what you want to do! 

Lorraine Arams
Get your free copy of my new goal achievement strategy at:
http://www.wizetime.com

Is it time to change fundamentally?  How do you know when that might be?  Should you effect change now or not?  Why are you changing?  What will the costs in time, money and energy?

When life goes sideways, we think we need to make a change.  Often, we have no idea what change we should make or how to go about making that change but we think fundamental change is the answer.  How do we know?

Solution?  Clarify and Understand. 

What’s the problem exactly?  Once the problem is clearly stated, preferably on “paper”, it is time to search.  Clarity leads to focus.  And hopefully, it also leads to open minds using eyes and ears to support an open mind.  And here’s a trick to clarify:

in 60 words or less describe the problem – not more than 60 words – if you can explain an issue in 60 words or less, you understand it and it will be crystal clear what the issue is

Does anything fundamental need to change or is it just a matter of finding a new approach?  Answers don’t always mean change; sometimes, it just means applying what you know in a different way but that’s not the same as change. For example, if you look at sports.  The game is the same.  The rules are the same.  But a new technique of accomplishing the same thing – one hand basketball shot as opposed to a two-handed approach to score – does not fundamentally change the game of basketball – it just adds another method by which a player scores.  The goal is to score and win.

Here is an example of change.  Coca Cola wanted to solve a problem.  What was the problem in the first place – did they know? 

They chose change.  So they brought in a new coke.  It bombed.  Coke lovers around the world wanted their “Classic Coke”, not the “New Coke”.  Obviously, the coke formula was not the problem – they still had plenty of people who drank Coke in the first place.

A fundamental change was not necessary.  

What were they trying to achieve?  Greater market share?  Adding to their line of products?  Retiring old products?  There were many other ways Coke could have achieved what they wanted without changing the fundamental formula of their product – more creative promotional ideas, maybe a new way of  communicating with the marketplace or hundreds of other “answers” as opposed to “change”.  It cost Coke plenty in so many ways to make an unnecessary change.

Fundamental change, therefore, is often unnecessary.  Stats and strategic planning and analysis and . . . . . all the other paraphernalia taught in high-priced universities and colleges cannot replace the ability to achieve clarity based on experience,  imagination and teamwork (education is a place to start, not a set pattern of making the right decisions).

There was someone in the Coca Cola company who was saying it was a bad idea to change fundamentally (there always is), but none of the decision-makers chose to listen to any argument against their “idea” - often that is the case. 

So, when there is a problem to solve:

•  clarify the problem – know exactly what is to be resolved - it’ll save you a lot of money, energy and time in the long run
• listen to all ideas - you never know who will be offering the best one
• make the atmosphere safe to present contradicting opinions and consider every person’s opinion at all levels of the organization as a valid point of view – the one opinion disliked the most could be the key to resolving the issue – there is wisdom in every corner of an organization 
• keep asking the most important questions of all:  Is fundamental change really necessary or is there something else we should be thinking about?

Lorraine Arams
http://www.wizetime.com

Every single day, at the end of the day, celebrate your accomplishments that day!!! 

Some of you think this is silly.  Is it? 

You were given 24 hours – a gift – to do with it whatever you want – whatever!  In yours and my country that’s possible – if you can’t read this, likely these freedoms are curtailed. 

What did you do today which made you feel good – feel you had accomplished something worthwhile? 

• was it helping a colleague solve a problem
• was it helping your child to understand a math theory or formula
• was it volunteering that  put a smile on someone’s face who was having a bad day
• was it a report you got finished
• was it an exam you passed
• was it helping a stranger who fell on the street and needed medical attention
• was it calling your parents and building a strong adult relationship with them
• was it getting a monkey off your boss’s back
• was it to get 3 major things done from your list of To Dos
• was it earning money to assure that your family has a place to live, food and clothes
• was it connecting with your friends
• was it cleaning your environment and feeling the peace that comes with being able to find what you need when you need it

What positive thing did you do today which added quality to living?

I urge you to get a small writing pad or spiral bound booklet, have it beside your bed and every night before you go to bed, write down at least one positive accomplishment you had that day.  What will it do for you?

1. Nothing helps you sleep like success!  Your mind, soul and body love positives.  Writing a positive or two or three or more gets the right chemicals working in your brain.
   
2. You’ll become aware of time.  Every day will be come more meaningful to you.
   
3. The next morning, you’ll wake up “ready to sing in the shower”.  You’ll be amazed how  that single action before you go to sleep will affect your mood the next day.

 It’s all true – try it – this is one addiction which has positive results!!

Lorraine Arams
http://www.wizetime.com

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