WIZE TIME MANAGEMENT

How Do You Know Which Values Make You Tick?

Do you care?  Does it matter to your life?

Have you ever thought about it very carefully?

Personally, I never paid much attention to my values.  People talked about values in passing.  In the many programs I took, values were mentioned but not much time was spent on them and certainly no one explained why knowing my values was so important.  The exercise was repeated so often without direction, it became meaningless.

Why?  That’s the question – Why Does Someone Need to Know and Understand Their Values?

Recently, I’ve been involved in a program and the issue of  identifying values came up again.  Yes, yet again.  The difference this time?  The facilitator gave us the reasons why understanding our values is mandatory in conducting our lives to cohesively achieve our dreams.

Helen Dewar  made it abundantly clear the reason for taking the time and the energy to define our values.  She took the time to explain “the value” of values.  How do we use our values to live our lives, to make the choices we need to make and to be true to ourselves.  Are we living in alignment with what we value?

Never before has someone explained it so clearly and so emphatically how values affect everything we say and do in our worlds.  She also explained how we are led to believe things about ourselves which are untrue all because we reacted in defense of those values.  Not everyone shares our set of values – in fact, it’s rare that any two people have exactly the same values or live out their values the same way.  Hitler had values and so did Mother Teresa – what do you think they were?

What Are Your Values?  Do You Really, Really Know What They Are?

You can find a lot of lists on the internet and you can likely come up with about 50 values you “think are a good idea for you”.  Can you really serve all those masters?  Of course not – what are your core values?  Here are a couple of places to begin?

http://www.livingmore.org/wp-content/lm-documents/ValuesList.pdf
http://www.gurusoftware.com/GuruNet/Social/Topics/Values.htm#Values_of_Society

Please note:  often values are mixed in with skills.  Values are far bigger than skills.  Think of values of overall compasses of your life – North, South, West and East, Center

Helen has us boiling it down to five.  5 – try it – you’ll be amazed how difficult this exercise is.

How do you know what your values are?

Watch yourself.  How do you spend your time?

Let’s say that most of your time is spent on family.  You have a job which pays the bills with a little left over for savings but the bulk of your time is spent with family.  You spend a lot of time with your kids, you organize family events all year round and people gather at your house every Sunday for Sunday dinner.  Your home is filled with relatives and friends all the time and you’re talking on the phone with a large collection of family and friends.  Your Facebook account is buzzing with the latest pictures, stories, meetups, etc.

If you value a success in your career,  you spend the majority of your time thinking about your career. You’re constantly thinking how to enhance your career – what can you do next to build that career?  A job is not a job to you but a very important way for you to achieve fulfillment.  You have a coach and a mentor.  You ask questions about getting ahead and you mingle with people you admire.  Jobs are not jobs to you but a stepping stone to greater success in the scope of work.  You spend a lot of time working, thinking about strategies to get ahead and continuously networking.  You’re constantly upgrading your skills and your education to give you the edge.

If you have a value of health, you watch every single bite you take, you exercise almost daily and you do and learn everything possible to stay healthy.  Health seems like an obvious value for all of us, however, that’s not the case.  Most people don’t value their healthy until they lose it.

Where do you spend your time?

What Ticks You Off?

Another way to tell, is what ticks you off at work or when your around other people in your personal life?  Do you react strongly to unfairness or bullying or pet abuse?  The stronger your reaction, the higher your value.

It takes time to decide what your values really are.  It takes a lot of digging.  The first two might not be so difficult but the others will likely cause you to ponder the realities of your being. 

Define what each value means to you.

Why Are Values So Important?

Values are the foundation of who you are, the reality of knowing yourself and the building block for everything else in your life – your career, your relationships, your decision-making, choices you make about everything in your life and the knowing what is right for you in the seemingly complex and confusing parts of your life.  If you know your values intimately, your life will be a lot easier to navigate.

What’s the Alternative?

Chaos.  Lost opportunities.  Working for the wrong organizations.  Putting your trust in people who don’t value what you value.  Hurt.  Anxiety.  Stress.  Disaster.  Dissatisfaction.  Lack of self-esteem.  Name it for yourself -

How Do You Know What I’m Saying is Right?

Because you’ve experienced the results of going against your values.  All humans have.  If your value is family, have you ever fought with someone in your family to the point that you destroy that relationship, you are no longer welcomed in the family unit?  How does it feel?  Feels quite awful because you’d like to keep the family unit whole and happy.  What happened?  You let something get out of hand and went against your family value.  Was it worth it?  What will you do about it?  If you truly value family, you’ll resolve the issue.  If not, then family is not truly a priority, not truly a value but likely someone else’s value or a value that is not all that important to you.

What Good Will It Do To Know These Values?

You’ll be able to plan accordingly.

If you are applying for a job, you’ll take the time to research the companies to which you are applying.  You’ll talk to current employees, you’ll talk to clients and you’ll explore the internet to find everything you can about how they match your values not only in value statements they make but how they honor those values.

You’ll stop yourself before you behave in ways which will contravene your values.  If you value friendships, you’ll forgive transgressions more easily or take the time to resolve any angst or you’ll drop relationships which don’t work for you without regret.  You’ll spend the time building your positive  friendships.

Are Values Critical?

You bet.  Without knowing what they are, you’re a sailboat without a rudder – you’ll wonder all over the place not understanding why your life is not working so well.  The wind and tides of life will send you adrift in a maze of confusion and dissatisfaction.

Is It Too Late?

NEVER.  It’s never, ever too late – that’s a myth perpetuated by society  – nothing is too late as long as you’re alive and functioning.

There are hundreds and hundreds of values – by the time you have selected your top 5 and defined them for yourself, you’ll truly understand the very core of your being.

Methodology

1.  Look over the lists.  Pick out the ones that resonate with you strongy.  Write them down.

2.  Run down the written list, eliminating some.  Then do it again and again and again until you arrive at 5.

3.  Go through each one and ask yourself why you believe it is one of your values.  Write it down.  Then, ask, “Is that true?”.  Give yourself an example how you exhibit that value in your life.

4.  Leave the list alone for a day or so.  Observe yourself.  Hear yourself. Does what you say and do align with your values?  If not, you’ll have to go back to the list and eliminate what you “thought” was a value and, through self-observation, you now realize is not such a strong value after all.  Give yourself no longer than a week to get to complete your list of 5 values.

5.  Write your 5 values on a card and put the card in your wallet.  Put the list up on your computer.  Keep a list by your bedside.

6.  Test the list.  Are the values you have listed truly your values?  How you behave, especially in crisis, will definitely show you whether you are kidding yourself or not.  It won’t take long.  A crisis doesn’t have to be life or death.  It can be any discomfort we experience.  Notice how differently you make choices now.  Notice the clarity with which you conduct your life and how constructively you face disagreements.

Will the values change?  Yes.  As you test the list, you’ll likely amend it.  As your life changes, your values may change.  For instance, if your top value is money, it could very well be that at a stage in your life, you’ll begin to replace that top value with another value which has become paramount such as community.  Community may have been fifth on your list but now it rises to the top and since one of your values is money, you’ll focus on making the best use of the money in your community towards achieving the most impact.

Values do work together though it may not always be obvious.

What are your values?  Have you wondered why you felt like a boat without a rudder?  Think values first.  Decide.

When will you begin to change your life?  Today would be good, right?

Lorraine Arams
http://www.wizetime.com

STAYING CALM -IT’S AT A PREMIUM!

It’s so wonderful to be calm.  We love it, don’t we?  Even the most hyper of us love the feeling of calm.

Today

In our busy world, calm seems to be at a premium.  If our cell phones aren’t ringing or vibrating, someone is honking at us.  At work, emails come in fast and furious, the phones ring, people “drop by” to talk, someone asks for help, and we run to the gym at lunch hour where the machines whirl, bang and people grunt and fret – oh, no, another pound!

How can we stay calm when from the time the alarm clock rings, we are surrounded by noise, demands and schedules?

Here are a few ways to help you “sneak in” some calm into your day, every day:

1. Breathe:  On your computer, set an automatic reminder every hour on the hour, to take 10 deep breaths.  It’s a quick way to make sure the anxiety and stress doesn’t build up to a peak by the end of the day. Breath in down to your belly and breath out to empty your lungs.
   

2. Stretch: Put another reminder on your computer every hour or hour and a half, to stretch your body.  Stress builds up in the body and stretching for 5 minutes several times a day can release your body from the tightness which can build up.

3. Nature: Every single day, even if it is only for 15 minutes, go outside, smile at a dog, watch the wind in the trees – get back to nature somehow.  We’re indoors a lot and just that fact alone can start making us feel like a caged animal.  Free yourself, go outside, appreciate a flower!

4. Gadget: Invest $10 in a stress squeeze ball and take it to meetings with you.  When you start feeling any negative feeling, squeeze the hell out of it!  You’ll feel better and stay in control of your feelings.

5. The Written Word: Write down everything that is whirling around in your head.  It clears the brain and releases the emotion associated with them.

6. Sleep: Schedule the sleep you need – all of it!  Sleep should be the most important part of your schedule.  Without sleep, all your activities take longer and your emotions are closer to the surface. You can waste a lot of time trying to get yourself to “wake up” or “energized”.  Use that time to sleep instead!

Calm is good!  Calm makes your day go much better even if someone screams at you for no reason!  Calm is a good habit to cultivate for the enormous benefits it gives us!

For more tips on managing your time, do visit my blog at http://www.wizetime.com – make it easy on yourself, sign up and get each new posting directly into your email box or your RSS feed.

Lorraine Arams

What do you really, really  need to know to manage your time well?

There are general characteristics of people who manage their time well.  It seems as though it’s an “outside job”.  People watch people who use their time effectively and want to know what calendar they use, what software they use, how they’ve developed such a great memory, the secrets to getting so much done in their lives and the list goes on and on – everyone thinks that people who manage their time well have a “trick”.

In a way they do.  It took me a while to learn this lesson and, once it was learned, it was much easier to understand what I must do each and every minute.  The lesson learned:  take care of myself first! That’s it – nothing more complicated than that and if you think about it, you’ll likely come to that conclusion as well.

What does that mean?  It means being very clear what my values are – what’s really, really important to me? Not to someone else but to me – I simply cannot please anyone else.  For a moment, when I do what others want me to do, yes, they are pleased but it’s fleeting.  If, however, I only do what pleases me, it’s with me forever and it builds upon itself.  It builds my good feeling about myself by always putting the most important person in my life ahead of everything else:  me.

Sounds quite insular, doesn’t it?  I thought so too – how selfish that attitude seemed to me at first.  However, I could not argue with success.  I learned that, in actual fact, it was the only way to live.  My birth, my life and my death are my own – no one else’s – I own my life. It’s liberating the minute that notion finally sinks in! I had been taught something completely opposite – it was a lie – the only truth that could ever exist is taking care of the most precious thing to me – me.  I know how it sounds – please take the time to think about it if these words truly shock and disturb you.

What does that have to do with time management?  I have a starting point.  Everything I do begin at this point – me – what will make me feel good and what do I need to do to achieve what I want, be the person I want to be and surround myself with the people, things and experiences which I value.  Can you feel the freedom in that approach?

Think about some of the dilemmas of life and how much more easily a decision can be made if the only important person is yourself:

• How much easier do you think it will to say no to requests from other people and not feel guilty?
• How much easier will it be to leave a job you despise and have the confidence in yourself to move onto something better suited to you?  It’ll be no longer someone else’s choice of job or profession – only your own!
  
• How much better do you think you’ll feel about yourself every single day as you interact with others based on what you want for yourself?  You simply won’t get taken in by other people’s manipulation.
• How much faster do you think you will move towards your dreams, your goals if the only person you are pleasing is yourself? You’ll be thinking and using your head and your heart to make important decisions in your life about your life for your life – the one you have designed for yourself!
  

Will you still make mistakes? Yes because sometimes old patterns come back and we lose our way – however, if a person always knows the foundational factor, it’s much easier to get back on track.

Will you need tools? Yes, of course, you’ll need tools.  However, no tool will ever work if this foundation is not built in the first place!  The fun part of this is that you’ll be able to use the tools effectively and use them to suit your life.

Lorraine Arams
Achieve your goals the time management way
complimentary new system for you at:

http://www.wizetime.com

Does technology save you time?  What do you think?  Do you really think so?

Part of a sociology course involved analyzing the  impact inventions had on people’s lives.  A simple example was given:  vacuum cleaners.

Prior to the vacuum cleaner, people had rugs and they took those rugs out and beat the dust out of them,   low tech – time consuming and they mopped the hardwood and linoleum floors under and around those rugs.  The vacuum cleaner changed all that.

Then people wanted carpets in their homes because the vacuum cleaner would help with the maintenance.  But then instead of laying down a floor like hardwood or linoleum which lasted decades, there was underlay, carpet, the vacuum cleaner and, of course, then cleaners for the carpet. !  And, of course, since time is money, carpets wore out much faster than hardwood and linoleum so it cost more time to earn the money to replace the carpets.  Then, there was  getting rid of parasites which loved the wonderful hiding places carpets provided, the anti allergy medications or air purifiers to counter some of the chemicals used in the carpet making process, buying bags for the vacuum, etc. -  all of this to replace the mop! In the end, carpets actually cost people more time and money for the convenience of cleaning rugs!

So it is with technology – we had a problem – it was so difficult to find data, crunch stats and find information.  So the computer came along to share information and crunch numbers.  Great!   It saved hours and hours and hours of boring, manual labor. It also costs jobs.

But then we wanted the computer to do more – we wanted it to help us with office jobs, connect to each other and entertain us. Computers did all that too.

Now, though, technology is costing us both in time and money, especially time and sanity.  We have Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, My Space —- texting —- Google, Firefox, Chrome —– anyone, anytime access to each other —– Flickr, Photobucket, Google images —-  email —– and a proliferation of software on the internet to do every single thing there is to do —–  and it all costs you even more time -

• searching thousands of sites to find the tiniest bit of information – because everything now is so  narrowed,  it takes searching multitude of sites for a collection of useful information
• texting – it’s become an addiction. People are willing to die or kill others to view and send a message.  Like the cell phones, everyone is accessible day or night – all day — all night — and at the price of ignoring the people they are with too. How can anyone think about what they need to get done when so much time is taken with trivia?
  
• social networking chews up a lot of time - connecting with friends and family – none of you are on the sites constantly so there’s frequent treks to see what has been posted instead of the occasional call or email
• search engines are many and Google may be great, the other ones may be better for you. For instance, Firefox has a lot of plug-ins which can make your particular search easier and more accurate.  Of course, a person needs to research and find out what those plug-ins are and what they do for you.  As search engines come on board, there’s another learning curve – what do they do and how do they do it?  Takes up loads of time
• anyone can reach us anywhere, any time which means we cannot have down time. It’s like putting someone in “locked chamber” – there’s no escape.  And people feel they can’t shut off their cells “in case there’s an emergency” – it’s interesting what people define as an “emergency”.  That kind of pressure weighs on the mind – people can’t relax as they are in a constant state of expectation.
• there’s an expectation that people post images for one another - great to share but how many? If you have 150 people in your group of  friends and family, how much time it would take if you view pictures from all of them?

Ask yourself:

• Is it necessary?
• What if I got rid of my cell phone or PDA other than for work or emergencies? What would happen?

• What if I went to the library to research instead of online?  What kind of experience would that be?
• What if I paid attention to the people I was with instead of paying attention to each call or text message – would my relationships improve?
• What if I shut off my cell phone or PDA, would I have some quiet down time for myself?
• What if I didn’t use my computer, cell phone or PDA for an entire day, what else could I experience?
• Would anything serious happen to anyone if I didn’t text them back or update my Twitter or called them three times on any particular day?

• How much would I save by managing technology rather than technology managing me?

Does technology save time?  Like any other tool – yes – if is properly managed and controlled by the person using them, understanding that technology is only a tool, not the  lifeblood of your life!

Lorraine Arams
More thoughts and tips at

http://www.wizetime.com