How Do You Know Which Values Make You Tick?

Do you care?  Does it matter to your life?

Have you ever thought about it very carefully?

Personally, I never paid much attention to my values.  People talked about values in passing.  In the many programs I took, values were mentioned but not much time was spent on them and certainly no one explained why knowing my values was so important.  The exercise was repeated so often without direction, it became meaningless.

Why?  That’s the question – Why Does Someone Need to Know and Understand Their Values?

Recently, I’ve been involved in a program and the issue of  identifying values came up again.  Yes, yet again.  The difference this time?  The facilitator gave us the reasons why understanding our values is mandatory in conducting our lives to cohesively achieve our dreams.

Helen Dewar  made it abundantly clear the reason for taking the time and the energy to define our values.  She took the time to explain “the value” of values.  How do we use our values to live our lives, to make the choices we need to make and to be true to ourselves.  Are we living in alignment with what we value?

Never before has someone explained it so clearly and so emphatically how values affect everything we say and do in our worlds.  She also explained how we are led to believe things about ourselves which are untrue all because we reacted in defense of those values.  Not everyone shares our set of values – in fact, it’s rare that any two people have exactly the same values or live out their values the same way.  Hitler had values and so did Mother Teresa – what do you think they were?

What Are Your Values?  Do You Really, Really Know What They Are?

You can find a lot of lists on the internet and you can likely come up with about 50 values you “think are a good idea for you”.  Can you really serve all those masters?  Of course not – what are your core values?  Here are a couple of places to begin?

http://www.livingmore.org/wp-content/lm-documents/ValuesList.pdf
http://www.gurusoftware.com/GuruNet/Social/Topics/Values.htm#Values_of_Society

Please note:  often values are mixed in with skills.  Values are far bigger than skills.  Think of values of overall compasses of your life – North, South, West and East, Center

Helen has us boiling it down to five.  5 – try it – you’ll be amazed how difficult this exercise is.

How do you know what your values are?

Watch yourself.  How do you spend your time?

Let’s say that most of your time is spent on family.  You have a job which pays the bills with a little left over for savings but the bulk of your time is spent with family.  You spend a lot of time with your kids, you organize family events all year round and people gather at your house every Sunday for Sunday dinner.  Your home is filled with relatives and friends all the time and you’re talking on the phone with a large collection of family and friends.  Your Facebook account is buzzing with the latest pictures, stories, meetups, etc.

If you value a success in your career,  you spend the majority of your time thinking about your career. You’re constantly thinking how to enhance your career – what can you do next to build that career?  A job is not a job to you but a very important way for you to achieve fulfillment.  You have a coach and a mentor.  You ask questions about getting ahead and you mingle with people you admire.  Jobs are not jobs to you but a stepping stone to greater success in the scope of work.  You spend a lot of time working, thinking about strategies to get ahead and continuously networking.  You’re constantly upgrading your skills and your education to give you the edge.

If you have a value of health, you watch every single bite you take, you exercise almost daily and you do and learn everything possible to stay healthy.  Health seems like an obvious value for all of us, however, that’s not the case.  Most people don’t value their healthy until they lose it.

Where do you spend your time?

What Ticks You Off?

Another way to tell, is what ticks you off at work or when your around other people in your personal life?  Do you react strongly to unfairness or bullying or pet abuse?  The stronger your reaction, the higher your value.

It takes time to decide what your values really are.  It takes a lot of digging.  The first two might not be so difficult but the others will likely cause you to ponder the realities of your being. 

Define what each value means to you.

Why Are Values So Important?

Values are the foundation of who you are, the reality of knowing yourself and the building block for everything else in your life – your career, your relationships, your decision-making, choices you make about everything in your life and the knowing what is right for you in the seemingly complex and confusing parts of your life.  If you know your values intimately, your life will be a lot easier to navigate.

What’s the Alternative?

Chaos.  Lost opportunities.  Working for the wrong organizations.  Putting your trust in people who don’t value what you value.  Hurt.  Anxiety.  Stress.  Disaster.  Dissatisfaction.  Lack of self-esteem.  Name it for yourself -

How Do You Know What I’m Saying is Right?

Because you’ve experienced the results of going against your values.  All humans have.  If your value is family, have you ever fought with someone in your family to the point that you destroy that relationship, you are no longer welcomed in the family unit?  How does it feel?  Feels quite awful because you’d like to keep the family unit whole and happy.  What happened?  You let something get out of hand and went against your family value.  Was it worth it?  What will you do about it?  If you truly value family, you’ll resolve the issue.  If not, then family is not truly a priority, not truly a value but likely someone else’s value or a value that is not all that important to you.

What Good Will It Do To Know These Values?

You’ll be able to plan accordingly.

If you are applying for a job, you’ll take the time to research the companies to which you are applying.  You’ll talk to current employees, you’ll talk to clients and you’ll explore the internet to find everything you can about how they match your values not only in value statements they make but how they honor those values.

You’ll stop yourself before you behave in ways which will contravene your values.  If you value friendships, you’ll forgive transgressions more easily or take the time to resolve any angst or you’ll drop relationships which don’t work for you without regret.  You’ll spend the time building your positive  friendships.

Are Values Critical?

You bet.  Without knowing what they are, you’re a sailboat without a rudder – you’ll wonder all over the place not understanding why your life is not working so well.  The wind and tides of life will send you adrift in a maze of confusion and dissatisfaction.

Is It Too Late?

NEVER.  It’s never, ever too late – that’s a myth perpetuated by society  – nothing is too late as long as you’re alive and functioning.

There are hundreds and hundreds of values – by the time you have selected your top 5 and defined them for yourself, you’ll truly understand the very core of your being.

Methodology

1.  Look over the lists.  Pick out the ones that resonate with you strongy.  Write them down.

2.  Run down the written list, eliminating some.  Then do it again and again and again until you arrive at 5.

3.  Go through each one and ask yourself why you believe it is one of your values.  Write it down.  Then, ask, “Is that true?”.  Give yourself an example how you exhibit that value in your life.

4.  Leave the list alone for a day or so.  Observe yourself.  Hear yourself. Does what you say and do align with your values?  If not, you’ll have to go back to the list and eliminate what you “thought” was a value and, through self-observation, you now realize is not such a strong value after all.  Give yourself no longer than a week to get to complete your list of 5 values.

5.  Write your 5 values on a card and put the card in your wallet.  Put the list up on your computer.  Keep a list by your bedside.

6.  Test the list.  Are the values you have listed truly your values?  How you behave, especially in crisis, will definitely show you whether you are kidding yourself or not.  It won’t take long.  A crisis doesn’t have to be life or death.  It can be any discomfort we experience.  Notice how differently you make choices now.  Notice the clarity with which you conduct your life and how constructively you face disagreements.

Will the values change?  Yes.  As you test the list, you’ll likely amend it.  As your life changes, your values may change.  For instance, if your top value is money, it could very well be that at a stage in your life, you’ll begin to replace that top value with another value which has become paramount such as community.  Community may have been fifth on your list but now it rises to the top and since one of your values is money, you’ll focus on making the best use of the money in your community towards achieving the most impact.

Values do work together though it may not always be obvious.

What are your values?  Have you wondered why you felt like a boat without a rudder?  Think values first.  Decide.

When will you begin to change your life?  Today would be good, right?

Lorraine Arams
http://www.wizetime.com

When should you speak up?

People would say:

• never – “I’ll lose my job”, “I’ll make enemies”, “I won’t be respected for a difference of opinion”, “It’s not my problem. I don’t want to get involved”, “I don’t like it but I need to live with it”, “I’m the peacemaker”, “I don’t want to cause trouble”, “People won’t like me”

• sometimes – “If it’ll get me what I want”, “When it’s serious enough”, “When I’m asked for my opinion”
• depends – “Depends on whether or not I have the time”, “Depends on how it will affect me”, “Depends on what other people think first”

And so people show up to work every day, put their heads down and say nothing unless spoken to.  In their personal lives, they repeat the same habit – speaking up very little to “keep the peace”.

The Inevitable

One day, as it will inevitably happen, there will be an explosion.

Everyone, at one time or another,  shows up at work and in their personal lives tired, irritable, and generally not well.  It’s all too much.  They blow.  They say something to someone and it’s not good.  All that pent up energy simply discharges.

Like a volcano, they have “blown their top”.  Pressure has built up so much, sometimes over many years, that the wrong thing is said to the wrong person with the wrong reaction!

What’s the Alternative?

Practice.

Speaking up is not a one time event.  It’s a skill developed over time and the learning never stops.

When a person practices daily to speak up in work and social situations, that person increases their ability to communicate effectively.

When a person explodes, no one hears them.  Like a volcano, the eruption is so intense that people are taken aback by the intensity and the focus of others becomes to calm the person down instead of listening to what is being said.

Where Do You Start?

Start by deciding every day will be practice day.  When a difference of opinion arises, speak up even in benign situations such as where to have lunch.  Notice the words and tone of voice used and after the exchange, think about how the message could have been conveyed better or pat yourself on the back for a successful exchange.

Practice.  Practice.  Practice.

With practice, an eruption is unlikely to happen unless planned for a purpose.  Sometimes eruptions can be effective but great care is required in the execution.

If a person is always practicing expressing themselves, others will get used to it and a strong opinion won’t be such a shock.  Self-control will be easier and the message is likely to be heard even if the outcome is disagreement.

Expect Disagreement.

We are all so different.  What seems to be perfectly logical and make sense to one person, doesn’t to another.  Everyone expressing themselves in a respectful way often results in surprising outcomes where collaboration or co-operation may occur or a “truce” of sorts.  If not, at least everyone knows where everyone else stands on an issue which, in itself,  is a form of peace.  Dialogue can continue.

Lorraine Arams

http://www.wizetime.com

Did you ever ask yourself:  Am I living my life by accident?

Most people haven’t.  Yet, most people do live their lives by accident.

When accidents turn out well, we’re happy and we build a life accordingly.  However, some accidents are not so pleasant and don’t make us happy but we feel we have to “stick it out” for a variety of reasons – our mortgage, our family needs, our car payment, our retirement fund, our job.

Accidents Looking for Success

Many people decided that they would work anywhere which offered a pension and top benefits – that was the first criteria – it didn’t matter whether it were in government or business and it didn’t matter what job they were assigned.

Others wanted only to work for government because it was the “iron rice bowl” of all jobs – you likely would never get fired, you’d have good benefits, not have to do a lot of work, great vacation time and a good pension – all you had to do is do minimum work and keep your head down.

Others decided they wanted to be in a profession a sure thing with social status attached – a doctor, lawyer, dentist, etc – and they went to school, passed the exams and took on the role.

Others couldn’t decide what to do and followed other people’s advice.  They got the training, landed a job and met requirements.

Yet, others, not happy in a particular job and feeling ambitious, bravely undertook career moves which they thought would get them to higher positions.  For some, it materialized; for others, the path was not successful.

And still others followed the path of looking for something which could offer them an outlet for their passion and find a job they loved to do every single day.  Again, some found that happiness while others never were able to locate just the right “thing” that made them rush out of bed in the morning to start another great day.

The Drivers of the “Accidents”

1.  Money

2.  Pleasing others

3.  Ambition

4.  Indecision

5.  Passion

6.  Security

7.  Social Status

Which driver drove your decisions about your career?

Did you think about it when you chose your life’s work?

How about the other parts of your life?

Did you purposely select each part or “did it just happen”?

Did you decide your life’s work say, like this group:

—-   from an early age, they decided what work they wanted to do for the rest of their lives.  They found out what was needed to get where they were going, planned their future as much as possible, interviewed employers to determine whether it was a fit or not, and, when they landed the job they wanted by design, they guided their careers step-by-step through the maze of the workplace.  How often will you find these people?  Not often.  How did they know to work such a plan?  Some say that they found a mentor early on and others were guided by their parents and yet others discovered this planning strategy totally by accident.  It made sense to them, and they followed it – it worked.

Eventually, however, everyone comes to the same conclusion – you really do have to plan where you want to be and how you are going to get there.  The how involves a lot of reading, connecting with people who are already doing what you want to be doing to find out what is required and, hopefully, connecting with a couple of people who are willing and able to either coach or mentor you along the way.  You design and plan; work the plan adjusting as required; continually connect with those willing to help you and you keep track of your progress.  Adjusting the plan is mandatory because situations or the economy or other factors change and the plan needs to adapt to changes.

And so it is with everything in one’s life.  There are choices.

Is it ever too late?

Perhaps.  It may be too late to become an Olympic athlete or a star basketball player with the big leagues.  It may be too late to become the head of a major corporation or it may be too late to become a great race car driver.

Think of Grandma Moses – she became a well-known painter after the age of 80 – her kids were grown and she decided to paint.  Think of Winston Churchill – was he too old to lead England to victory over the Germans?  Or how about Cornelius Vanderbilt – was he too old in his 70′s to become a railroad entrepreneur when all of his life had been devoted to the shipping business?  How about the 50-year old who did commercials for Bowflex in a bikini – was she too old?!

There are a multitude of examples of people going back to school, finishing a degree and doing the work they’ve always longed to do!  How about you?  Where are you in the spectrum?  Are you willing to strike out and plan your new life?  Or will your life simply continue as it has been – a life lived by accident?

The choice is yours.

Is it easy?  No and especially in the economic upheavals we are currently experiencing.  For many people, this is a time of survival – get a job, any job just to put food on the table.  Can they still live the life they want?  Yes.  Though it will take longer and may suffer some setbacks along the way because of situations out of their control but when the sun shines through again, they’ll be ready to glow!

Why is it a good thing? Because it keeps the flame of hope alive!  That is all we have – hope – and when hope no longer exists, it’s difficult to keep going.  However, when you are working your plan, hope is alive and well no matter what else you have to do.

What will your choice be? Do leave me a comment on my blog and let me know how you are doing – what you’ve decided to do with the rest of your life!

And pick up, for free, my version of goal setting – it’s a twist which may very well, for the first time in your life, have you setting and achieving goals.  Just sign up to my blog and you’ll have access immediately – what a great way to get ready for 2011!!!

Lorraine Arams

http://www.wizetime.com

Why are we having such trouble finding good leadership today?

Because of us all.

The Groundwork

With time, everything changes – everything – not even a rock stays the same forever.  Our mindsets have changed.  Where once we were happy to have a job, earn enough money to support our families comfortably and have a good life filled with what humans can offer each other, we began to demand Hollywood lifestyles – designer clothes, 4 cars in the driveway, 4,000 square foot houses, and annual vacations far away in exotic locations.  Companies raced to fill the desires of excess and even stoked the fires.

Today – A Model of What is Lacking

Today, we take a day to remember the people who died on the battlefields defending our most precious gift:  freedom.

How many people will actually attend the services around the world? Very few – most can’t be bothered – they’re busy or it’s raining or it’s too far or a multitude of other lame excuses.  Think of a soldiers in the trenches in WWII – what excuse could they have?  Where could they go – rain, shine or gun fire directed at their hearts?

It’s that laziness and lack of appreciation for contribution that demonstrates how little we value our own lives. If we cannot take three hours per year to honor those whose lives were taken in conflict protecting the lifestyles we have become accustomed to, then why do we expect leadership.

Every day in every way, our own day-to-day leadership is testament to what we believe and what we value.

Where does Leadership Begin?

Next time you’re complaining about the leadership in our society, look in the mirror, look at your neighbors, go to a thrift shop, visit a shopping mall, and walk down your version of Rodeo Drive, visit an old bridge or travel an old road – all these are visual indicators of what we have come to value or not in our lives as a society.  We accept decay of our towns and cities as though it’s normal and we accept the destruction of trees and animals as necessary to progress.  What progress are we talking about here?

The lack of respect for ourselves and what exists in our surroundings is testament to our mindset.  We don’t even care for the stuff we have because we’re too busy – the real reason is that we have too much!

Leadership is a Reflection of What We Value

Next time you’re pointing the finger at your greedy and ineffective government officials, executives and others in what we call leadership positions, look a little closer to home – how are you leading your life?  What values are you teaching your children, neighbors, schools, friends and family through your words and actions?  Look at the stuff in your closet, garage, storage locker, drawers, etc. that you are not using.

If we begin to demand better of ourselves then and only then can we demand better of others.

Can You Find Leadership Today?

Yes, you can find leadership today – in yourself.

What do you believe leadership is and how is leadership reflected through actions and results?  Are you practicing the kind of leadership you expect of others? It’s not difficult to understand what you value – just look around your home, think about how you behave in your community, think of your involvement in the human race and think about how you can live in harmony with nature rather than plunder its gifts to manufacture the next bobble or iPhone.

When we control our own greed, our own abuses, behaviors towards others and show a little leadership ourselves every day, only then can we demand the same of those we elect to office and those chosen to run our enterprises.

If, we the people, begin to demand more of ourselves then, eventually, all people in all positions will be required to do the same.

Where Do You Start?

Decide to be a leader today in your own life – lead a life through your values.

What are your values?  Do you even know?

Is it nature?  When was the last time you planted a tree or took a walk in the park?  Do you even know where the parks are?  Do you pick up trash?  Do you help animals in distress? Do you  donate to animal care groups.  How are you involved in assuring nature conservancy?

Is it family?  When was the last time you called your cousin?  Do you organize family gatherings regularly?  Do you even know who your relatives are?  How will you connect?

Is it community?  Do you pick up trash on the streets, beautify your neighborhood, help neighbors, have neighborhood gatherings, resolve interpersonal issues with dignity and respect? Do you even know what’s going on in your community?

Is it politics?  Do you vote?  Are you involved in the political process?  Are you writing letters and demanding better laws, better behavior of your elected officials?  Do you protest?

Is it honesty?  Practice it – how many times do you lie in a week?  Do you call in sick when you’re not but expect to get paid for a day’s work you haven’t earned?  When a clerk makes a mistake giving you change, do you notice the error and put the money in your pocket?

Is it caring?  When was the last time you visited a home for the aged and took a resident out for a walk?  Do you volunteer for your animal shelter?  Do you help someone in a wheelchair up an incline?  Do you help your neighbors with tasks?  Do you help the homeless in your community?  If your work colleague got laid off, do you call and ask how they are?  Do you help your colleague with job leads or opportunities?

Design a set of behaviors which will demonstrate what you, in your heart, feel is  important.

Pay attention to the world you live in.  Pay attention to your life.   Put your time and money, not in designer clothes and shoes, but in living a full life – become connected to yourself and others.

Decide on your leadership and do it – every day. When you are practicing it yourself, you will recognize it in others.  When that happens, you can be a co-leader in our world no matter the position you hold in society and no matter the position others hold – you’ll be in it together – in the trenches – living values!

Lorraine Arams

http://www.wizetime.com

Last week, I promised I would begin a series on the “foundational” pieces to time management.  This will be the first of those blogs.

This series will come to you on Mondays.  Wednesdays and Friday blogs will dedicated to time management tips, articles, events, news events and guest blogs.

I have a radio show on Blog Talk Radio too now.  It’s a new medium for me and quite interesting.  I’ll keep you posted on how that goes.  You might want to tune in to the programs sometimes.

Let’s get started on the foundational processes in time management.  I have coined the phrase, “you-centered time management”. Why would I call it that?  Because I’ve come to realize that if we don’t change our approach to how we use our time, we won’t achieve what we want in our lives.   But if we don’t know what we truly want in the first place, we can’t use our time wisely and therefore all attempts to change how we manage our time will result in a hodgepodge of tried and failed attempts at constructing the life we want.  Makes sense, doesn’t it, therefore to “dig up” from a psyche what we truly want in the first place.

Since only 3% of the population is said to achieve their goals, that leaves a whopping 97% of the people in this world who could but are not attaining the life they want.  We can change that and, if you’re interested, come along for the trip.

I would truly love to have your feedback – do keep me posted on your progress, ask me questions and let me know the discoveries you make along the way –

How Do You Put the “You” in Time Management?

It sound very easy at first glance.  It’s not.  Why?  Because we have been conditioned to:

• take advice
• do what others want us to do
• recreate other people’s successes in order to achieve our own
• want to please others’ and meet their expectations of us
• want others to like us
• and a host of other reasons why we have never really thought of time as our own – it’s been a calendar of things to do for a variety of purposes.  We have failed to first identify what we really want

What do you really, really, really want?  You likely know what it is but perhaps it’s buried so deep, it’s difficult to bring it forward.

For instance, when you were a child, you really loved to paint pictures – animals were your favorite subjects.  But then as you were growing up, adults told you that being a doctor or a lawyer or a teacher was the way to go because you could make a good living doing those jobs and, in some cases, the benefits were excellent.  When you graduated high school, you took the “safe route” and dropped your love of painting though you’ve always been drawn to art classes, art exhibitions, and wherever else you could look at paintings.    Eventually, you got a job, created a family and your favorite thing to do became more and more buried.  It’s the past.  We can’t do anything about it now.  However, we can now start the process of looking for what you want.

I’ll help you through this process by asking a lot of questions and eventually, at some point, you’ll have a picture of what you want.  We’ll start with money since it is one of the more serious aspects of your life.

Here are 3 questions to get this process underway.

I would suggest getting a wire-bound notebook – small or large – doesn’t matter but something you like – the color, the paper, the texture – and begin writing down your answers.  Believe me, it’ll all come together even if at first it seems it’s going nowhere and you’ve done this so many times without success.   If you put in the work, it’ll come because what we are striving for here is our innate, personal understanding of our foundational core – “who am I”.

The only point we are trying to get to here is you understanding you thoroughly. Once you understand yourself thoroughly, managing your time will become a flow like a river.  You’ll know exactly what to say yes to and what to say no to – because you’ll know where you’re heading – much like the pioneers who headed West – they didn’t know the name of the place where they would land but they knew what they wanted – to own their own land and build a life in which their children would get an education, they would be free to practice whatever religion they chose and they would have a chance at a better life.  All they knew was land was available in the West – where exactly, no one really knew.

Money – understand what money means in your life – what does money mean to you?

1.  What does money mean to you?

2.  How do you treat your money?

3.  What is your relationship with money – how much of it do you really, truly need to feel satisfied?

Think hard on these questions – your first answer might be a little “flippant”. I want you to get to a point inside yourself where you have that gut feeling you now understand money for yourself – not dollars and cents – not investments – not savings – what is money to you?  From these 3 questions, I would like for you to write a 60-word paragraph to answer these questions until you completely understand internally how you feel about money.  You likely have to write and rewrite this 60-word paragraph over and over and over again to get the paragraph to contain 60 words.  If you know something really well, you can express it in 60 words and remember it because it becomes internalized as you write and rewrite it.  You’ll change your answers to the questions often and you’ll reword your paragraph many times until there is a point where the paragraph feels right – it is the picture of money to you.  Keep these thoughts and ideas very private because everyone will have an opinion of what you’re writing down - you’re not interested in their opinion!

You have a week to do this – work on it a little every day – the point here is to get to understanding -putting the “you” in time management – putting the “you” into your own life!

Lorraine Arams

http://www.wizetime.com

Have you every thought about this obvious fact – time is a one way street!

The time of your life is a one-way street – are you at all interested?

There’s no going back and there’s no going forward either – this moment right now is all we have. It’s really tough for us to get our heads around that notion because we are so used to living and so used to having more and more time without doing anything to get it – it’s just there – it’s given to us.

Our memories are the past which we can never, ever relive again – that moment is gone forever.  The future is unpredictable no matter how predictable we want it to be.  You can plan until the cows come home but you really have no idea what’s around the corner in the next moment of your life.

Because we get used to time, we don’t think about it very much.  But when we’ve neglected to honor it, we blame a lack of time for our troubles. In actual fact, it is only our own neglect of our time which causes our problems with time.

All we have to do is look on the internet.  Time management is slotted into other sites which talk about everything else – time management in many instances is just one of the topics of the site – almost like an after-thought.

Time management is not about managing minutes, hours, days, weeks – it’s about your life! All of your life – and what rolls around in your head is the very key to time management – get the head straight, you’ll get time management working as it should.

Over the next few posts, I will be talking about the psychology of time management – the source of all time management ills.  It’s what I term as “you-centered time management”.  I’ll give you some questions to start clarifying your relationship with time – a course in time management with a twist;  it’s the only way to truly become master of  time, of your life.

Many tools are provided on the internet and yet people struggle with managing their time.  None of the tools will ever work until you are able to get a handle on your relationship with time.  Once you are clear, then you’ll see that time management will sort itself out.

Time is the one-way street of our life – are you at all interested? Are you using it wisely or are you squandering it?  Is time passing by?  Do you feel in control of your time or a passenger on a fast train nowhere?  Are you stressed to the maximum and yet there is more to do?  Your life doesn’t need to be lived that way.  Stay tuned and I’d love your input so please leave a comment  -

Lorraine Arams
get your complimentary goal-setting strategy
at http://www.wizetime.com
“the missing link”

Let’s review what we talked about this week regarding goal setting.

How are you doing?

Did you get some interesting insights on how to “tweak” your goal setting process or are you encouraged to set goals even if you have never done it before or failed to reach goals you had once set?

I started on the first day talking about Missing Link – a free product that is available to you on my website.  This system is actually a “new twist on an old theme” – taking what is generally accepted as the right way to set goals and adding one crucial component to the mix:  time management.  All you need do is visit my site and you’ll find the way to access that down loadable product.  It might just be the key that finally gets you to achieving a goal and spurs you on to set more goals and achieve them too.    Does Setting a Goal Get you the Result you Want?

Then   I introduced you to some supporting material from Zig Ziglar.  In Missing Link, there are steps to be taken.  Zig Ziglar points to the fact that assessing what the obstacles are and identifying the people who can help us decide what those steps might be.  And, of course, as in Missing Link – “What’s in it for me” is ever so important to achieving goals – you won’t unless you  Goal Setting – are you missing these important steps?  Likely!

And finally in the last blog, I introduced you to the visual component of setting goals. It’s a tool that is seldom recommended in goal setting exercises but which is very important in the goal setting process – it’s much easier to believe in something when you can see it – Best Tool to Help You Set Goals Visually -and it’s much easier to understand the steps to take, when to take them and how each step builds on the other.

We all love to play – and this element certainly adds the playful element to setting and achieving goals.  The company I recommended offered you the best of all – the inventor of mind mapping – who can explain it better than the person who created it?  The video tells the story and if you try the system, you’ll see how all the color truly makes it a magnificent way to build the map!  Best of all, you can work on it either on the computer or on paper – either way or both ways is very helpful.

I hope you learned some new things and I hope you can now see how blending these components combined with your own discipline and your belief in yourself, can get you on the right track to achieving your goals, getting what you want and realizing long-held dreams!

Lorraine Arams
Missing Link at http://www.wizetime.com

Are you missing these important steps in goal setting?

I think you likely are

The difference in this goal achieving exercise is that it comes from someone who actually used goal setting to achieve great success as opposed to goal setting from a theoretical point of view – this is how it works in real life.

Listen very carefully to this video – you’ll see what I mean – it makes sense.  Zig Ziglar as some of you may know grew up in the Southern State of Mississippi.  He knew the meaning of poor but that didn’t stop him from becoming a top salesman and carving out a career as a renowed international speaker and authority on high-level performance.  His approach to most everything is “unconventional” and it is effective because he did the “doing” before he taught the strategies.  I’ve seen Zig Ziglar on stage and he is one dynamo – drawl and all!

It’s incredible how we miss the obvious sometimes because our minds are focused on what someone is teaching us. Zig Ziglar’s truth comes from the fact he achieved success and believes in goal setting. 

He adds important dimensions to the “usual” approaches: obstacles – do we know the obstacles we will face to achieving our goals?  Every single goal we set has obstacles to it whether it be the need to acquire new knowledge or skills, money, location – there are so many!  How can we plan effectively without understanding what the obstacles are in the first place.

Have we identified people who can help us? The right people, of course, because not all people we know or come to know are the right people to help us move towards our dreams.

And the biggest motivator of all – “what’s in it for me” - you’ll see that I have included this in my “Missing Link” goal setting system which I have created and is available to you gratis on my site at http://www.wizetime.com.

Blend some of these concepts into the steps in “Missing Link”, and, slowly and surely, you’ll be ever so much closer to achieving your dream life – one step at a time!

Lorraine Arams

http://www.wizetime.com

Does setting a goal get you the result you want?

After all, you’ve defined what you want in each part of your life, set the date for completion, created some initial steps and it should happen, right?  You’re clear on what you want – you did the work – you honed all your dreams down to the ones you really want.  And you have pictures posted on your wall to remind you every day – a collage of the dreams!

Why doesn’t it for most people?

I used to teach a program in goal setting and it was always amazing to me the extraordinary enthusiasm generated by putting dreams down in writing and going through the process.  People were pumped!!! They were so excited!  Smiles, laughter, a bounce in their step – what a wonderful way to spend an afternoon – setting goals!

A year later, they were all back thinking they had missed something the first time and feeling quite dejected because most of the goals they had set the year before were not achieved; in some cases, none of their goals were realized or only partially.  Their self-esteem was in the tank! What was wrong? Was it the people’s lack of discipline?  Was it that the dream was not strong enough to be realized as a goal?  Were people lazy or just hooked on the dreaming part?  Did they really not want what they think they wanted?

Likely, it was a combination of many reasons the least of which that the same old goal setting process which had been around, tweaked, repackaged and sold over and over again as the thing to do to get to where you are going.   The “repeat customers” told the story of the effectiveness of these systems.

It got me thinking.  When things don’t work, I started trying to figure out why. Then, one day, it dawned on me!  The most critical element omitted by all goal setting programs:  time.  People had a life before they arrived at the goal setting afternoon and none of that life would likely change too much by the end of the afternoon.

I’ve developed a “new twist on an old theme” for you – complimentary – and I know it will work for you if you work the system – why? For one thing, you won’t be overwhelmed right from the start.  And because you won’t be overwhelmed, you’ll like succeed.  And if you succeed, you’ll likely repeat the process.  In the end, you’ll be the winner – your self-esteem will rise and, finally, yes, you’ll be added to the success stories of those who set goals and achieved them!

Who likes a little success in their lives?  Everyone! Once you begin to see that success can be achieved, you’ll keep doing it because you’ll feel good about yourself and your life!

It’s not totally without a cost – I’ll ask for your name and email address – you won’t have to put out any money. I’ll also ask you to send me your success stories – I know it’ll take a while to get your dreams to become a reality, and I’m willing to wait for those great success stories to reach me.

So go to my site:  http://wizetime.com and get your gratis copy of the “Missing Link” PDF and begin living the life you want!

Lorraine Arams

http://www.wizetime.com

Does technology save you time?  What do you think?  Do you really think so?

Part of a sociology course involved analyzing the  impact inventions had on people’s lives.  A simple example was given:  vacuum cleaners.

Prior to the vacuum cleaner, people had rugs and they took those rugs out and beat the dust out of them,   low tech – time consuming and they mopped the hardwood and linoleum floors under and around those rugs.  The vacuum cleaner changed all that.

Then people wanted carpets in their homes because the vacuum cleaner would help with the maintenance.  But then instead of laying down a floor like hardwood or linoleum which lasted decades, there was underlay, carpet, the vacuum cleaner and, of course, then cleaners for the carpet. !  And, of course, since time is money, carpets wore out much faster than hardwood and linoleum so it cost more time to earn the money to replace the carpets.  Then, there was  getting rid of parasites which loved the wonderful hiding places carpets provided, the anti allergy medications or air purifiers to counter some of the chemicals used in the carpet making process, buying bags for the vacuum, etc. -  all of this to replace the mop! In the end, carpets actually cost people more time and money for the convenience of cleaning rugs!

So it is with technology – we had a problem – it was so difficult to find data, crunch stats and find information.  So the computer came along to share information and crunch numbers.  Great!   It saved hours and hours and hours of boring, manual labor. It also costs jobs.

But then we wanted the computer to do more – we wanted it to help us with office jobs, connect to each other and entertain us. Computers did all that too.

Now, though, technology is costing us both in time and money, especially time and sanity.  We have Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, My Space —- texting —- Google, Firefox, Chrome —– anyone, anytime access to each other —– Flickr, Photobucket, Google images —-  email —– and a proliferation of software on the internet to do every single thing there is to do —–  and it all costs you even more time -

• searching thousands of sites to find the tiniest bit of information – because everything now is so  narrowed,  it takes searching multitude of sites for a collection of useful information
• texting – it’s become an addiction. People are willing to die or kill others to view and send a message.  Like the cell phones, everyone is accessible day or night – all day — all night — and at the price of ignoring the people they are with too. How can anyone think about what they need to get done when so much time is taken with trivia?
  
• social networking chews up a lot of time - connecting with friends and family – none of you are on the sites constantly so there’s frequent treks to see what has been posted instead of the occasional call or email
• search engines are many and Google may be great, the other ones may be better for you. For instance, Firefox has a lot of plug-ins which can make your particular search easier and more accurate.  Of course, a person needs to research and find out what those plug-ins are and what they do for you.  As search engines come on board, there’s another learning curve – what do they do and how do they do it?  Takes up loads of time
• anyone can reach us anywhere, any time which means we cannot have down time. It’s like putting someone in “locked chamber” – there’s no escape.  And people feel they can’t shut off their cells “in case there’s an emergency” – it’s interesting what people define as an “emergency”.  That kind of pressure weighs on the mind – people can’t relax as they are in a constant state of expectation.
• there’s an expectation that people post images for one another - great to share but how many? If you have 150 people in your group of  friends and family, how much time it would take if you view pictures from all of them?

Ask yourself:

• Is it necessary?
• What if I got rid of my cell phone or PDA other than for work or emergencies? What would happen?

• What if I went to the library to research instead of online?  What kind of experience would that be?
• What if I paid attention to the people I was with instead of paying attention to each call or text message – would my relationships improve?
• What if I shut off my cell phone or PDA, would I have some quiet down time for myself?
• What if I didn’t use my computer, cell phone or PDA for an entire day, what else could I experience?
• Would anything serious happen to anyone if I didn’t text them back or update my Twitter or called them three times on any particular day?

• How much would I save by managing technology rather than technology managing me?

Does technology save time?  Like any other tool – yes – if is properly managed and controlled by the person using them, understanding that technology is only a tool, not the  lifeblood of your life!

Lorraine Arams
More thoughts and tips at

http://www.wizetime.com