WIZE TIME MANAGEMENT

The Grapevine

People love to watch other people.  People love to share.

Gossip is one of those moments of sharing – usually about something naughty that someone else has done or some dire news.

They call it the “grapevine”.  One person tells another who tells another and so on.  Of course, we know that the story gets distorted along the way.

“John saw the boss out with someone other than his wife on Saturday night.  Looked pretty cozy.”

“Carol got into a lot of trouble with Joan.  They started to fight in front of the boss and the boss told them they had to both shape up or ship out.  Carol said that she was looking for another job.”

“Did you hear that Bob and Joan are having an affair.  Policy says they shouldn’t but they don’t care.  They are anyway.  I saw them kissing in Bob’s car at lunch.”

“Did you hear that the Jenn’s entire department is getting axed?  I wonder what brought that on.”

Should You or Shouldn’t You Participate in Gossip?

One the one hand, it’s “news”, on the other hand, it’s hearsay.  Sometimes gossip may be true and sometimes it’s totally false.

It could be that the boss was out with his niece from out of town and there was only a small table available.  The kiss Joan gave Bob was on the cheek thanking him for help, and Jenn’s department is being moved to another part of the building to be closer to a team they work closely with.  It could be that Joan and Carol are both spirited and passionate resulting in passionate outbursts – neither are looking for a job.  Carol was talking about something else entirely.

Gossiping is Big Business – Men, Women and Children all do it!

People Magazine and other such magazines have created a huge empire gossiping.  Writers creating “society” columns are gossiping.  Gossip is a great social activity – everyone loves it and everyone does it – everyone.  The moment you utter someone’s name and something they did to another individual, you’re gossiping – men do it – women do it – children do it – it’s part of the social fabric.

BUT  . . . .  at work, it can get you into some very serious trouble. 

Work

Work is the way you earn your money so you can live – shelter, food and clothing.  Gossip can get you fired – at the very least, it can create alienation either for you or someone else.

Don’t do it – it’s not worth it just to feel that you are “being part of the gang”.

What do you do instead?

Listen.  Don’t participate.  Don’t even offer an opinion – no matter what opinion you offer, it will go against you.  And whatever you do, don’t start a thread of gossip either.  Talk about the weather, the latest in sports or about some activity you are involved in – find topics outside of work if you want to network on the inside.

Outside of Workplace

AND whatever you do, do not pass on the gossip outside of work.  You never know who knows who and you could seriously damage a relationship.  For instance, you know Nancy from JVC company.  You’ve known Nancy for some time and meet up often for a drink after work.  You tell Nancy about the latest scandal at work and add your two cents worth to the story.  Little did you know that the person you were gossiping about was her uncle!!!  Oh, no!  She’s offended by what you said – relationship over!

If you must gossip, keep your work out of it – totally.  Remember, work is the means by which you earn money to meet your needs and want -  keep the stream of income flowing! Don’t do anything which jeopardizes that income no matter how innocent it may seem at the time!

Lorraine Arams
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My very favorite YouTube video (if you want to see it just click here) inspires.

Every time life throws me another curve, my spirit is lifted.  Sometimes, I’ve replayed this video for an hour to fill me up with what I need to get up and go again.  Life has been quite tough for a while as I face challenges I never dreamed I would ever face.

Most importantly, it’s a lesson in our human psyche.  For any of us who have ever experienced discrimination because of others’ biases, this video shows us in full color the cost of bias.

In color for all to see . . .

A real live example of age and physical appearance biases.  We all lost for a very long time because she didn’t “fit” the false belief that a person has to be slim, gorgeous,  and polished with flawless skin to have talent.

Real looking people have real talent too!

The opinions were swift to show . . .

There she stood.  Ridiculed when she told of her dream.  How dare she have a dream like that at her age and with those “looks”!  They laughed.

She ignored their jeers – she probably had heard them her whole life.

Little did they know that they were just about to have an experience of a lifetime – coming face-to-face with the darkest parts of themselves in the form of biases – - talent isn’t wrapped in slim, current standards of beauty – talent comes in many unexpected forms.  Could they ever know what was about to hit them?

The Aftermath . . .

How many in that audience actually went home and thought about how they themselves had reacted that day and changed?  How many people changed?  How many people started to address their biases?

She just didn’t sing.  She held up a mirror to society’s phoniness!  36 years to hold on to a dream – the tenacity, the strength, the endurance and the dedication is beyond what most of us would ever even think of giving any goal!

“I’m going to make that audience rock” , she said – do you think she did?  She made them rock on the ouside and the inside!  I took only a couple of bars and they were on their feet – shocked!  She reached down into their souls – she does it to me every single time I view this video.

“I Dreamed a Dream” – she did for 36 years!  How many of us would have that courage, that fortitude?  Yet, they laughed.

A major lesson can be learned by us all . . .

I hope that parents who have children bullied at school will show this inspirational video.

I hope those of you who are discouraged because your life has had a turn for the worse for a very long time, take inspiration and courage from this individual who waited so long to share her talent with the rest of us.

A nice, plain lady with an extraordinary talent.  How was that talent missed all these years?

Our biases.

In your workplace and at home, look for the talent – nurture it, make it blossom and enjoy the gift.  The right talent most often is not in a nice little package with the right wrapping, ribbons and colors – sometimes, the right talent comes from a place we wouldn’t expect.

I had  a situation like this in the workplace.  A wonderful human being.  All people could see was that she was overweight.  The bias was obvious.  She worked hard and was very smart.  She was willing to do what it took to move ahead in her career.

I gave her chances.  She shone.  Eventually, she rose from clerk to senior assistant in the head office.  Then, in private industry, she became a manager – her bosses loved her because she delivered excellent work and was dedicated.

What would have happened to her if we hadn’t met?  Would she still be a clerk because no one gave her a chance?

When employers complain they can’t find good help, they should look in the mirror first.  What is it in themselves, as an employer, that is not reaching and hiring the type of people to fill the “good people” criteria.  If you an employer doesn’t have good people, it’s their fault, not the employees’ – a lesson I learned the hard way.  Look at biases first and foremost.

In our lives in general, when we complain we cannot find good friends or connect with good people, look around – you may be blind because of your biases.  Where are your biases:  age, body size, type of dress, hair do, mannerisms, race, appearance, height, language – so many reasons for biases, none valid.

Eliminate your biases – look for the gifts – you might be surprised!  A diamond never comes out of the ground polished!

Lorraine Arams
http://www.wizetime.com

What do you think:  Can short summer hours increase productivity?

In my opinion, absolutely!  Why?  Because it gives people something to look forward to and the summer is a great time for people to get outdoors, enjoy the health impacts of more activity and socializing.  There is no question that summer is an ideal time to work less and enjoy more of life!  And for parents, it would give them more time to spend with their children.  Too, people, in general, slow down in the summer – the heat does have an impact on the ability of people to function and to think even in air-conditioned spaces. Therefore, even though people are showing up for their eight-hour day, their productivity is generally lower.

Let’s say a company had “summer hours” . To be fair to the company, there would, of course,  either be an adjustment in the number of hours worked somewhere along the line perhaps in the Winter months when the company is operating at peak levels or a deduction in salary.  With today’s technology, it’s not so difficult to track people’s time.  It would become company policy.  As long as suppliers and clients were informed of the summer hours, there would likely be no issue there either.  Yes, I know, some companies’ busy time is the summer, however, shorter hours would likely help here or alternative work hours to battle the effects of heat.

This is one way that companies can add flexibility to their environments without affecting the bottom line.  And a way for companies to get employees “recharged” for the busiest periods.  People always feel better when they have the time to spend with their friends and family, relax, and “reset”.

How does this affect people’s health in other ways? Heat has detrimental effects on the body which can affect a person’s efficiency.  Effects on the workplace can also include:

• aggressive behavior towards co-workers causing more conflict
• lower levels of patience affects the ability to deal with small problems and take the time to properly complete tasks
• people feeling more burdened by work as people feel more listless and tired in heat
  

Air conditioners are not the panacea either.  They can:

• aggravate chronic conditions such as arthritis and neuritis
• cause sinus trouble
• increase susceptibility to colds, flue and other minor ailments
• stress is caused by being forced to go from a boiling hot environment into an air conditioned one – they are not able to cope with hot summer temperatures

Based on these effects on people’s health alone, companies would be wise to adopt shorter summer hours – there is no question that any one of these factors affects productivity.

Can short summer hours increase productivity?  Absolutely! If we consider the effects of summer heat has on people, that alone is enough to warrant an adjustment in hours.

Resources:

http://www.ccohs.ca/oshanswers/phys_agents/heat_health.html

http://coolbandanas.com/heatstress.htm

http://www.essortment.com/all/airconditioning_rvht.htm

Lorraine Arams
More time at the beach?  Play with goals -
complimentary new system for you at

http://www.wizetime.com

You sit looking at the pile.  Stare into space.  Your body hurts from the stress.  Your mind goes from frantic to dead quiet. 

You know you have to get the report done for tomorrow and you haven’t even started.  Worse yet, you don’t want to start.  You don’t want to do anything except sit and stare blankly at the wall. 

And that’s burn out – no energy or willingness to go on with anything knowing full well what the consequences will be – somehow you don’t care and yet you are very worried.  Your whole life has become an incessant world of push and pull – you want to but you don’t; you know what to do but you don’t have the energy; you know the consequences and you don’t care; you don’t care but you worry. 

The drag is the worst part – you seem to be dragging yourself around everywhere you go in everything you do in everything you say – it’s all heavy, really heavy like you’re pulling a monster truck every inch of the way!

Physically you’ll feel exhausted and you often get tension headaches or severe lower back pain for no apparent reason – you never had them before but now they become a regular occurrence.  Sometimes, the lower back pain is so intense, you can’t even walk!

You have small accidents quite regularly – stubbing your toe, dropping things, and absent-minded run ins with chairs, walls, etc.

You check your work over and over again – yet there are still small mistakes like spelling or reversed numbers.  You’re horrified by the small mistakes instead of taking them as they are – small!

 Spiritually you feel empty, totally disconnected from everyone and everything.  You just wish everyone would leave you alone.  People just seem to add to the feeling of being burdoned and you don’t reach out for help either.  Everything is meaningless to you – everyone another stress.

Emotionally you sense you don’t have time to get anything accomplished.  You really want to distance yourself from everyone so you can get something done.  You don’t visit with friends any more.  You stop going to the gym.  You stay at work longer and longer and longer and less and less done.  Soon you feel like a martyr and soon a loser because you see everyone around you going home on time and yet there you sit.  You sit trying to accomplish the smallest tasks that seems to take forever.

Your calendar is filled with missed deadlines and you wonder why – you got everything done before, why not now?  Appealing to you are the escape mechanisms like alcohol, spending, drugs or even sex.  However, at some point in the burn out process, you couldn’t be bothered with these things either.  In fact, you know you have to get your act together but you don’t want to.

Every happy moment experienced by others is one that makes you feel even worse.  If someone gets engaged or has a baby or a birthday or gets married, it’s hard for you to be happy – you just can’t be happy no matter what.  Before, you would have joined in the congratulatory offerings and been genuinely pleased for the person.

You watch the clock too.  You were likely a person who was never a clock watcher but now you are – you can’t wait until 5 o’clock comes around so everyone leaves and you’re alone.

Alone becomes more and more appealing because you somehow think you’ll get something done.  But you’ll find that an hour has passed and nothing has been accomplished – you go into a blank world in your mind – you can’t move.

Clutter – one sure sign of burn out is clutter.  The clutter increases or your appearance deteriorates because of your perception that you don’t have enough time to get everything done.  You’re likely not sleeping much either so that doesn’t help – you look like it!

Work - you look at your work and it’s odd.  Some of the things you say or how you phrase things is so out to lunch that you can’t even recognize it as work you have produced sometimes.  You’ll have moments of brilliance mixed totally off the wall content.  Sometimes you’ll say things just don’t make any sense and you know it.  Everyone around you knows there is something wrong but most of them can’t identify it – you’re acting strange and that’s all they know.

You don’t have breaks – you don’t eat lunch unless someone drags you out and brings you something to eat -

Depression - is very close at hand – a deep, deep depression – you can feel that too.  The disconnect with everyone and everything and the perception there is not time for anything or anyone is a sign it has crept in.  The lack of caring and being hyper at the same time is a clue.

So what do you do about it? 

The first step is to go to your doctor and get some help.  Your doctor will likely tell you the road back to your normal self will be slow but there is no doubt you’ll recover.  Your doctor will likely give you a letter recommending a medical leave from work.  Take it.  Don’t even hesitate.  Take it.  It’s the best beginning to recovery you can get and get some counseling from a professional who specializes in recovery from burnout.  Even if you can’t get stress leave, take vacation time or a leave of absence.  You need to get away from work for a little while.

Exercise - start an exercise program immediately and exercise as much as you can every single day – weights, cardio, yoga - and go outside as much as you can every single day – surround yourself with nature -

Eat good food – preferably organic – your body has taken quite a beating through this process and it needs nourishment.  Take vitamins too – every day.  It’s critical that you get some good vitamins and take them.

Journal – talk to yourself in a journal about what you feel, don’t feel, etc.  Anything.  Every day sometimes several times a day.  It’s important to get it out.

Read good books both fictional and non-fictional.  Non-fictional – read about learning to handle stress better and start adopting some techniques which suit you.  Fictional will bring your mind into a world of fantasy where you can get lost for a little while.

Massages – start getting some massages.  They help release the tension and the toxins that build up in your body.  It doesn’t have to be expensive – you can go to a nearby school where they teach massage.  In some cases, your health insurance will pay for it.

Talk to your family.  Let them know what’s happening and what you need from them.  Sometimes it’s just a matter of letting them know you’d love their support but you’ll likely be spending a lot of time by yourself in the next while.

Understand what stresses you the most and what you can do to help you control your stress.  That’s very important so you never get to this point again.

Time – learn to schedule appropriately.  At first, don’t put time limits on activities.  For instance, say you want to exercise every day at 10 am – don’t put a limit on it – just leave it wide open so you have no pressure to finish.  Soon, you’ll get a rhythm going and you’ll be able to access how long you like to exercise for. 

Get into the habit of slowly introducing regular times to do things such as having lunch – you probably skipped breakfast, lunch and dinner in your most acute burn out stage.  So set times and make the experience pleasant each time – food you like – not too much – create a ritual such as placing your knife, fork and napkin on a placemat before starting to prepare your meal and sit with music to have your meals.  Keep regular hours to eat each meal.  Make it a very pleasant event which you cherish. 

Organize your space a little at a time.  For 15 minutes, 1/2 hour or an hour a day, declutter your world.  It’s very therapeutic.

And only you can know what else you’ll have to do – every life is different – every person is different – but the key is to give yourself the time to heal.  That’s your first most important step whether it takes a week, three weeks or several months – you need the time – don’t kid yourself either – you know you’ve burned out – you know it deeply.  But there is a tendency to deny it and keep on no matter what – it’s the worst thing to do.  Take time to get better and get some better time and life management skills so you never experience burn out again.  Yes, I’m talking from experience – been there, done that – and yes, I got over it successfully.  If you want some coaching, I’m available and my fees are low because I simply don’t want to add more stress to your life with huge fees that you cannot afford at this point.  Contact me through my blog here:  www.wizetime.com.  You’ll see I have a contact form.

Now – do one thing – only one thing – go get better!

An attack is launched!  Fear breaks out!     

In the workplace – at a meeting of volunteers – in a group of some sort -  after millions of years of existence, we still don’t seem to know how to deal with them.  That one person – the bully – who has been allowed all their lives to bully!

In the workplace, these bullies destroy productivity because everyone is on guard all the time about everything that is said and done.  No one knows when the bully will target any particular individual and ”nail that person” with something in order to agrandise the bully’s own ego.  Bullies claw and scratch people’s eyes out, figuratively.  Quite often these bullies become the boss because of their talent for turning on the charm to get what they want.  But look out – they’ll turn on you the minute they don’t need you any more!

The incidious  set up is this:  it is made to look like  a problem between two people – the bully and their target.  The bully seems credible in the accusations citing ‘authorities” to back up the arguments against the other person if necessary.   But, since no one else at that particular moment is the target, no one else gets involved and the boss often doesn’t intervene as the boss should. 

If you have had experience with them, you know the signs.  They pick on minor mistakes and they focus, usually, on one or two people at a time – usually one - after all, it must look like a feud between two people.  Why?  Because these bullies are usually cowards and will back down if they are confronted by a group of people.  Nobody ever said these bullies were stupid – they know the strategy.  The bully knows that if you get everyone angry with you the game is lost. 

Everyone fears them – that’s the way they set it up because one after another, they get rid of their target.  People get the message.  These bullies usually surround themselves with people just like themselves so often they run as a “pack” both internally and externally. 

It doesn’t take much to provoke bullies – just standing up for what you believe in will be enough to set them off!   The bully watches every single action and analyzes every single word intently and, when a mistake happens, they pounce with great force – they know how to twist the rules to their “side of the story”.  They sound so convincing too – they get people fired at worse, and at best, there are a lot of miserable people.

In organizations, especially volunteer organizations, they get themselves ingrained into the fabric as the “authority” of the organization.  And, again, they bring destruction to these groups too.  Again, no one stands up to them for a completely different set of reasons.

Bullies care about nothing.  They care about no one.  They are totally void of empathy, compassion and consideration for others.  They are always all consumed with what they want and getting it.  If you’re the person standing in their way or standing up against them, you’ll be targeted to be removed one way or another.

The time bullies waste – their own and everyone else’s – is gigantic! 

Once in a while, some person in a group is smart enough to spot the bullies early in the game.  They’ve seen it before or been the victim of such an attack.  They don’t fear.  They know how the game is played.  And this person knows what to do and quickly too – there is no time to waste to get rid of these bulllies!   If they are the boss, the bully is fired.  If not, then the person turns the table on the bully or uses their influence with the group to get rid of the bully.   The bully is ousted!  And everyone cheers!   

The terror is not over, however.  The bully moves on to other groups to orchestrate the reign of terror all over again – because it’s about ego – it’s not about anything else - they know few will stand up to them.   

If people learned, as a group, to stand up to these bullies early before the trail of destruction happens, we would all save a tremendous amount of time and stress!